if you were not mine, wld i have the streight.

2012-02-15T01:50:00.002+08:00

I can't do without you.
Not even for a day..

2012-02-12T21:59:00.002+08:00

Every photograph and story
Trickled through the lengthy web of friend
I overthought but understood
Distant look but looking good
And not the other way

But you fail to remember

Do I even cross your mind?
Your face still distorts the time

Why waste yourr time on me when you have everything you wished for

2012-02-11T02:46:00.002+08:00

Could you say good bye to yesterday?

Because You're better without me.

2012-02-08T14:21:00.002+08:00

I just want things to be back to normal.
I really do..
Im sorry if i did you any wrong.

I know im messed up.. but right now ure rlly all that i have left.

2012-02-07T14:57:00.002+08:00

http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2011/07/how-to-argue-with-mr-always-right/

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2010/09/20/8-ways-to-ruin-your-relationship/

http://thinksimplenow.com/relationships/couples-fight/

http://www.relationships-explained.com/pages/arguments.html

Useful arguments mean you learn something new about yourself or your partner - even if issues haven't been resolved.

2012-02-03T02:34:00.002+08:00

So this is The End to...
Jack & Jill

2012-01-26T09:59:00.001+08:00

....please stop grinding my teeth.
H.A.D pls GTFO

2012-01-22T20:20:00.001+08:00

When I found you...
I thought I would never be alone again.
Bullshit

2012-01-21T23:50:00.003+08:00

You contradict yourself most of the time.
Its hurtful when you said I'm calculative.
But have u even thought WHY?
Have u ever considered if being calculative is just a way of making yourself feel better ?
What's wrong ? u wanna know me. Then u should be open to e idea that I'm whatever way I am because I'm different now.
When u dated me. I was a younger and I was naive.
I'm 20 this year. And I definitely wan to take e extra precautions so I know I'd live a lil more longer...
Because I did so.

2012-01-21T13:48:00.002+08:00

i hate people who just think theyre down right smart.
if you are what you think you are... then can you just STFU N GTFO?
you dont have to let the entire world know you are.
or are you just looking for trouble?
cause im prolly gna disagree with every dam thing u have to say.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR RIGHTEOUSNESS

2012-01-15T23:02:00.001+08:00

Am i fighting a war thats already lost?

2012-01-14T16:42:00.001+08:00

Idk wtf I'm so stressed up about.
Pearl, u need to prioritize and end ur unfinished business.
Stop hogging shit that only brings you down.
I need to get a good night sleep. And a fresh start

2012-01-14T01:08:00.001+08:00

i know i said i didnt care about it & found it silly.
but..... i actually do care now.

and it feels horrible that you dont.

2012-01-08T23:43:00.001+08:00

I should post screenshots of your Ridiculous n unreasonable text messages on 9gag.
Cause... I'm pretty sure it'd make it to What's "HOT".

2012-01-01T22:51:00.008+08:00

Discovering yourself is actually an ongoing life long process
Physically and psychologically a person can become aware of themselves quite readily.
Through tools such as feedback given from friends and family.

Finding yourself is Not impossible. Acceptance is required also in this process..
Because many times we find things that we don't like, or we don't want.
People who are 'living their dreams' usually the types others talk about? Because their dreams and purpose on earth are...
Fantastical.
Everyone has a purpose... But to be able to.
Know it, accept it and excel at what each individual can do..is something special.

Ive found me, bt the acceptance process is killing me.
There are many things i want to change.
Wait... Isn't there a prayer for that?
'asking to be given strength for the things that can be changed,
And given the strength to accept what cannot be changed.'

I guess life is a blend of both?
Understanding your limitations.
Digging deep could always b one those situations where you'd say :
'becareful for what you wish for'
... But it can also be a beautiful process.

On e way to finding one's self..
Is not always smooth n pretty.
There's bound to be distractions along the way.
And people have choices.
You can choose to have e ride of your life, and focus completely on external factors,
Or you can choose to observe yourself closely.
This... Then dividing people a lot too..
From the way I look at it ...'those who live differently than those who do'

This implies with love and relationships too.
Because, the more I actually refine my 'self'..
The more I find the potential partners I connect with are changing too..
And so I am closer to finding that match to my true self..
Which is exhilarating..
Being around 'like minded' people can be rather fun, since theyre pretty much similar as your true self..
This.... Taking it all out to a deeper meaning.

And trust me, it's rewarding.

To all out there...... a happy 2012!

2011-12-30T23:07:00.002+08:00

Living 2 lives as a coward.

2011-12-27T10:58:00.003+08:00

A : Im sorry if you didnt get me earlier.. But I did everything i was & wasnt
expected to do.
My past, you're already forgotten.
D : U were nothing but a great & bad experience. Hopefully she gets a taste of whats
coming for her.
E : We're best at where we are right now,. Maybe One Day we'll b ourselves again.
K : Thanks but no thanks.
R : Im happy we stopped lying to each other. I forgive you for being a deceiver, all
because she bore you. Sad... & i Feel your pain.
M : Go fuck yourself, you'll know in time that i was a good friend.
Y : When you decide to come back down to earth. Ill be here waiting for you.

A : You stone and i wonder if i bore you... But i really do wanna know what
you're thinking about.
Our silence makes me feel the need to fill up our conversation with
inconsequential talk.
Or...... will it reveal aspects of one's being which has yet to be unfurled?
Does it bother you? Should i enjoy this silence? Will it get any longer in the
future? Are you happy?

2011-12-25T19:39:00.003+08:00

I know how awkward things have been ever since.
And it's probably the reason i won meet you.
But I know we still remain as e best of friends.
I just don't really know if it'd b alright with you, or ur family.
I do have to admit. I do miss the good old times.

-----------------------------------------------—————————----------------
12 years huh?
R we who we say we are.
Cause I know I don't know you anymore.
I don't laugh to the same kind of jokes u think are funny.
I don't actually know what's happening in ur life, but I am hearing you.
Most of the time I'm hearing you, but do u hear me too?
We'Ve been way too far apart for a while that it's difficult to catch up with you...
Ure there, and I'm still stuck here. When will I ever be there ?
I try not to care n notice much bt it does affect me when I know there's actually nth much I can say to you.
If I ever will b ur bridesmaid.. I won't take it on.
Cause I know id b e odd one out.
Ur life is there now, it's not here anymore. And it will never be.
All I know is that your favourite color is purple, you love sushi... And you were e only real friend I had for e past 12 years.

To the other half of me, I thank you for trying to understand me.
But I'm rlly not who u think I am.
I am becoming what I hope not to b bak then.

2011-12-25T01:26:00.001+08:00

If I could, I would.
And maybe I would ... In 4-6 years time
Till then.

2011-12-17T21:46:00.002+08:00

When you say I'm beautiful
I say "yeah right,"
but what I’m really saying is "do you really think so?"
When you say good job
I say "thanks"
but what I’m really saying is "I love that you notice."
When you say we'll be together forever
I say "I hope so"
but what I’m really saying is "I hope forever never ends."
When you say I love you
I say "I love you too" but what Im really saying is "never stop saying that."
When you say that I don’t care
I say "yes I do" but what I’m really saying is "I care for you more than you'll ever know."

I love each and every once in a lifetime moments I share with you today, tomorrow and forever.
I don't have the words to make you feel better, but I do have the arms to hug you, I have the ears to listen to whatever you want to talk about, and I have a heart thats aching to see you smile again.

2011-12-16T20:24:00.001+08:00

who is ever up to ur standards anyway?
i dont give a shit about what you think.. cause honestly.
im fine the way it is.
and thats enough for me.

2011-12-13T22:25:00.001+08:00

Even if I'm forgotten,
you'll remember me for today.

2011-12-08T08:35:00.002+08:00

I don't know. It's been almost a month now.
Everything still feels like it was meant to be but not exactly like this.
Maybe it just happened all too fast?
Maybe in the near future you'll tell me you even regretted making this choice.
You'll call her back, and tell her that u miss her... that u could do everything u did with me, with her..

And when that happens.. There's never gonna be a chance for us to start over again.
Not... For a life time.
Sometimes I wished we didn't have to grow up.
Cause.. I still miss who I was n who u were back then.
But what can I say? I did miss a small part of your life.
U may think I actually know you but deep down inside.. I don't.
It does feel like good old times.. But somethings missing right?

Yes, we said that there's so many things we would wanna do together.
But were you sure I was the only person you could have done it with?
You said things isn't gonna b easy for us.
Then I say, can we go through this? Can you? Can I?
Cause I know I did give it my all back then... And you didn't.
You gave my heart back and it all fell apart

U may think I give a lil lesser than what u give.
But u have no idea....
That I'm constantly thinking about where I stand in ur life 10-20 years down e road.
Because I won't, pretend like we ain't lovers or even soul mates

2011-11-15T14:30:00.003+08:00

Your extra baggage does get to me.
But theres no way i want history to repeat itself.
So id jus have to get used to it.

I wont be missing one more day of your life

2011-11-05T13:09:00.002+08:00

im jus full of myself aint i?
hahaha, i LOVE MYSELF. AND I WONT DENY THAT I JUS LOVE looking at myself.

whoever you are...

2011-11-05T12:38:00.003+08:00

I received a birthday card from someone unknown.
and this person knew my full address(with my postal code),
but he/she didnt sign off..... it was just "yours truly, you know who =)"

whoever you are. first of all, id like to say....
THAT YOURE A COMPLETE DICK HEAD!

If u dun have the courage to tell me who you are.
THEN WHY DID U EVEN SEND ME THIS CARD?
dropping it off personally into my mailbox is really creepy, and itd jus make me go crazy (there wasnt any stamp on it)
cause i rlly dont want any UNKNOWN PERSON stalking me!!!
but anyway, this is my message to you...
I dont know wad happened 3 years ago.. i really dont,
all i remembered was that after i got dumped..
I drank my sorrows away. met and dated people that i will never ever forget.
after all this while...........
ive grown into someone who u wouldnt imagine would be 'ME' now.
i could have been the 'ME' now 3 years back. but i was naive,self centered,in denial and mostly jus a bitch.
what i can say is that...
I could have been WAY better.
and thats who i am now.
I AM WAY BETTER THAN who u think i am right now.

and i am thankful for that.. im thankful that i got dumped 3 years ago.
i never got to thank the person formally for wht happened exactly 3 years ago.(
november 3rd 2008)

but yeah..
Thanks.... alot.
if it werent for you. i wouldnt b who i am today.
i feel great about myself, and im loving every minute of my life.
hopefully youd soon be able to pick up the courage to tell me what u cant pen down.

"yours truly, you know who =)"

2011-10-28T09:00:00.000+08:00

You're so beautiful
But that's not the reason why I love you.
And I'm not sure you know,
That the reason I love you is you,
Being you,
Just you.
Yeah the reason I love you is all that we've been through..
And that's why I love you.

2011-09-01T19:34:00.002+08:00

I just read an article on The Economist...

& Apparently women are rejecting marriage in Asia..
Never knew that. bt i kinda understand why so
Just think about it.....
its tough being both employed and married.
Women are basically caregivers for husbands,
children and often for age-ing parents..
and even when in full time employment, we are expected to
continue to play this role..

... idk, get married at e age of 40?

i once told my mom... " mom, please dont freak out if i come home one day with a colored child"

2011-01-22T01:09:00.000+08:00

Things have changed over time.
We all grew apart.
We all had our own fun tgtr, & shared great memories.
I really miss it.
But we tried to make things work again... Maybe for 2 times now?
And... Everytime we tried... We drifted even more.
It's like I don't know who u are anymore.
Too busy with school. Too busy with projects. Too busy with gaming. Too busy with family.
Now we dont talk at all.
If u really miss times... You wld have regretted makin that decision to hav left me behind.

Cause it's really over now...

2010-12-30T16:43:00.004+08:00

haha, do u rlly need to say anything?
Christmas in hong kong instead. HAHAHA.
BUT IT WAS A GREAT GET AWAYYYYYYYYYYYY!!

2010-12-09T00:50:00.001+08:00

okay,
if u dun love me.
FINE.
lets see how you'd do without me.

2010-12-04T01:47:00.002+08:00

hm......
im happy cause im different now.
so much different from who i was 2 years back.
hahaha, ive lost 17 kg!
3 more kg and im just good enuff to be called SKINNY!
i prolly cant live a week without gyming now. haha.
:) hong kong was so goood.
i dont know but i really love my parents.
haha, im going to study hard to get to london !!!!!
i cant wait to get there and make my parents proud!
GYM + SCHOOL + CAR + SPA + NAILS + SHOPPING + LOVE OF MY LIFE
= x100000000000000 of awesomeness

2010-11-19T19:48:00.002+08:00

Why dont u ever understand?

i fucking hate you.

for leaving me alone.
for not looking back.
for not messaging me at all.
for not missing me.
for not caring.
for not stepping into my shoes for a moment.
for not being the one to apologize all the time.
for not being the one who has put in all the effort all the time.
for not know that i always meant the best for you.
for not looking out for the both of us.

im so free now, all i do is just wait.
and when we quarrel. what do i do?
WAIT.
and u have the guts to ignore me.
& watch me suffer?
THEN DOES THIS MAKE U HAPPY NOW?

Im no superman.

2010-11-17T10:58:00.002+08:00

What went wrong?
I really miss you, can we be best friends again?
i got so caught up in studying, i totally forgot bout catching up with you.
I didnt exactly tell u the whole story but..... could u care to listen to me explain?
lets meet up soon or smth.
I actually wanted to ask u out to USS on my birthday, bt i actually ended up watching CSI the entire day LOL.. well i cant say i was happy either.
I had a HUGE fight with my mother.
&....... i got conned off my money by a tutor whom i tot was a friend?
I decided to stay back in S'pore cause of this FRIEND and because of family issues.
I hope u read this, cause i rlly miss talking to you.
What are u even doing right now? i dont even see u online much.
Geez.... im not over you. Dont be over me please :(

2010-11-10T22:40:00.003+08:00

we've been tgtr for 2 years now, and everytime i look at you..
ur just getting better & better.
Is that supposed to be great? i dont know.
I might even lose you cause ure better than me.
what should i do to keep up to ur standards?
starve myself?
you know....... i dont wanna end up being insecure most of the time like how i used to when i was with Ashton.
You know what happened right?
i got obsessed, possessive... well just insane.
I feel great bout who i am now, but ure always changing so fast.
How am i gna keep up?

I love you, and if it means that i have to keep making myself change for e better to NOT lose you.
Then id do it..
For 2 years, when did i ever stop trying ?
Ure my best friend, even before we were tgtr.......
haha, when id bitch to you bout my rs when we were tgtr, EPIC!!! & Id curse you LIKE MADDDDDDDDDDDDDDD......... like everyone knew tht we both were cocky bastards to ea other. I BET YOU DIDNT EVEN TREAT ME LIKE A GIRL!

HAHA...
we've been thru SO MUCH, like. if you look back....... its fucking unbelievable.
when i was bleeding, inside and out. you fed me & took care of me for almost the entire month.
youre so fucking awesome.

BABY, PLEASE DONT GET HOTTER THAN ME OK?
IF NOT ID GO MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND BECOME A CONTROL FREAK!
WAIT FOR ME LAH! LOL, WAIT TILL I DO YOGA RIGHT INFRONT OF YOU BITCH!
EAT THAT SHIT LOL.
hahha KARMA SUTRA! LOL. i love you :)

Happy anniversary my love.

2010-11-07T12:30:00.002+08:00

Im the happiest girl alive!!!
HAHAHAHAHHAA

THINGS TO DO :
- Finish reading Blink!
- Scuba Diving License
- Yoga at True Fitness
- SkyDiving In the US for 500USD
- Have a GREAT NEW YEAR
- Christmas in Japan
- GAMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE LIKE A MAD WOMAN.
- SPA once every twice a week,
- DO MY DAM IPL,
- FIX MY DARN NAILS!
- CUT MY LONG MESSY SPLITTING HAIR :(
- Hong Kong SHOPPING!!!!!!
- get my DRIVING DONEEEEEEEEEE HAHAH
- GET MY CAR!

OMG, i dont know where to start. ,
YES, time on my own !!!!!!!!!! enuff of studying already.
I EARNED IT, SERIOUSLY!!!

2010-10-01T00:55:00.001+08:00

you're right.
im not gonna care anymore.

by the time u lose me, ud know you lost the best girl in the world.

2010-09-28T01:06:00.002+08:00

Have you ever experienced an awkward feeling where you had to BE with someone u didnt wan to?
But had to cause of other reasons?
Like perhaps you didnt know this person and you had to talk cause u jus needed to break the cold ice?
Despite knowing that it still wont change the fact that its SO WEIRD and uncomfortable?
I hate it. i HATE THIS feeling.
And id prolly have to go through it for 2 WHOLE HOURS for his damn parade.
i know im mean... but i hate ur parents.
They never give you your space, they never looked at you as a man.
And they were always so nosy or either too NEEDY of you.
I dont get it. Arent you old enough already?
Dont you have a life?
I really dont wan to share you.. and why did you always have to be soft for em?
when it seriously makes me think... whos first.
ME OR THEM?
WHY DO I HAVE TO FUCKING SHARE YOU WITH OTHER PEOPLE.
we NEVER ever get our privacy. NEVER.
i bet prolly at the age of 26 when we're on our honeymoon, THEYD prolly be FUCKING CALLING YOU LIKE EVERY FUCKING HOUR.

Fuck this. HW THE FUCK AM I GNA LIVE WITH THIS.
I dont wanna be hypocritical. ITS NOT ME........... i cant deny the fact that i hate them.
I JUST CAN'T..

i DONT WANT TO GO THIS SATURDAY......... but its your pride ISNT IT?
ITS YOUR IMPORTANT MOMENT.
AND THEREFORE, IT HAS TO BE EQUALLY IMPORTANT TO ME.

i wish i never met you sometimes..

Why did i fall in love with you...?

2010-09-07T22:34:00.001+08:00

why get attached to someone if you dont wanna marry her/him?
Affection?

idk,

2010-09-07T21:58:00.002+08:00

IKnow, we cant live without friends.
But i dont wan any, I dont wan any that i wanna see everyday or speak to Everyday.
I dont like it.
I want my space. i just wanna be alone with him.
THATS ALL I CARE ABOUT. really, im telling the truth.
I know it may seem silly. But hes my future, u know?
Hes my future and thats why i dont want anything else than him.

I only ask you to be there as a friend.
Im not someone who needs attention 24hrs/7 anymore.
Im over that.
I have an aim in life and i know what i wanna do..
I just wanna do it.

2010-09-01T01:39:00.002+08:00

i am not anyone.
i have no face...
and im just meant to be made fun of for my entire life.

_ _ _ _ _ _ will always be the only person who sees me as me.
please come back soon.

2010-07-30T14:27:00.002+08:00

daryl your fine, i hate u jus a lil bit for being hypocritical.
but ervin, ure the worst.. mistake ever.
i tot u were a great guy and all.. bt srly... u nvr got ur facts right.
n what was all that bout being best friends. thats just bull..
yeah maybe kel is just right for you uh.. nobodies gna tell u whats right and whats wrong anymore.

i can promise u i wont be there anymore.

im tired & im gna forget everything i knew bout you.

im gna make this clear.

2010-07-28T00:48:00.002+08:00

if you ever read this ervin.

FUCK YOU & FUCK DARYL.
U guys dont just fucking ignore me whenever U FEEL LIKE IT.
IF YOU GUYS THINK U HAVE A GOOD ENUFF REASON TO IGNORE ME,
THEN SAY IT STRAIGHT TO MY FUCKING FACE. U DONT HAVE TO GIVE ME COLD TREATMENTS JUS TO MAKE ME REALIZE, IM NOT AS DUMB FOLDED AS U BOTH ARE.
U GUYS COULD HAVE JUS TOLD IT TO MY FUCKING FACE AND TELL ME WHATS WRONG, IF NOT WTHELL ARE FRIENDS FOR?

You're PROLLY MAKING e WORST MISTAKE ever.
you know why? CAUSE UVE prolly lost one hell of a good friend srly.

IF YOU THINK IM OBSESSED WITH MAPLE.
U're prolly right. BUT U KNOW WHAT? IM MAKING ONE HELL OF MUCH MONEY THAN HW MUCH URE PROLLY SPENDING IT ON.
and i need THAT MONEY OK? IM NOT AS SPOILT AS U THINK I AM, I HAVE TO PAY FOR MY MEALS. I HAVE TO PAY FOR MY BOOKS.
If you think uve done a better job thinking bout the future than me.
THEN PROVE IT.

I HAVE ALWAYS GAVE U ALL ADVICES. LOOKED UP TO U GUYS AS GOOD FRIENDS.
AND THIS IS THE BULLSHIT YOU GIVE ME?

well i dont give a fuck anymore.
Dont ever contact me again.

you have no idea hw much i treated u ALL as friends, and if u think u wanna put that to waste.
then go ahead.

geez, what a pity.
aw.... FUCK YOU AND BYE

i know, what am i doing here?

2010-06-17T03:02:00.003+08:00

i just realised that u have totally no photos with me.
Do i really belong in your world?
Were you better off not knowing me for years?
U seem pretty much happier back then.
I hate looking at your photos,
Why do you always seem so fake on paper?
& we dont even have a single picture of our memories.

Your in confinement , 1 more day till your out.
Right now i dont miss you, But i know i love you.
I know i cant live without you. I know we're good together.
We've already been tgtr for years, and we've known ea other for almost a decade.

I dont know what i want anymore, i dont know if im missing you cause it hurts.
Lookin at your superficial pictures.... IS THAT REALLY YOU?
cause if it is, I DONT KNOW YOU!!!
Now that im living life almost entirely without you,
im left with no one to speak to but myself.
I cant always be worrying bout you.
I have to lead my life.
I need to get back on the right track with society.

I really have met great awesome friends.
i thank Ervin for being there for me every min and every second.
Your a great friend.
im sure ud be boyfriend material to every girl.
But im gna tell you its a bumpy ride

what did u just ask me?

2010-06-09T12:18:00.001+08:00

are u serious, that your serious?
are u pulling my leg, because it aint a good joke.
its commitment for the rest of your life.
N once u give it to me, u cant take it back no more..
i dont want u regretting,

Friends.

2010-06-02T04:18:00.003+08:00

i know that youve got your own life.
Maybe i should have mine too.
But i dont know. Are we friends?
When hes there, we're not friends.
When he isnt there, we're friends.
Idk, whats this all about?

Im nothing but your entertainment.

Individual perspective of Love?

2010-05-04T17:09:00.003+08:00

hmm.. what century are we livin in?
the 21st century right?

Dont you think that everyone around us,
they view very differently bout how a relationship should go and how it means to love someone?
I just had a talk with my tutor, and by right i treat him as my mentor and my friend.
I have a boyfriend, going into army and in navy.
After researching for weeks it has been concluded that i would not be able to see him on a regular basis anymore. Or like how our lifestyle is right now...
Most of his time would be spent on sail.
Obviously i wasnt too sure bout myself waiting for him, and i didnt know if i could trust him to be by my side.
The fact is, he cant be by my side. and By all means, without my guidance, he would be exposed to many new things in life. Many new views on how he should live his life.
And prolly live his life without me?
Because of that, i got panicky. I tried to figure out as many ways that i could get him out of army, or even just out of NAVY.
....
Despite my efforts, it was impossible... and i had realised that it was time i should just let my boy go.
And let time be our test.
It has been tough for me because i have always seen him as my best friend, and my everything..
Ive never recieved the guidance of my family members, or any other friends because they have always left me on the lurch. I have lived with a difficult past, and have always walked it alone.
But, as friends i have known him for about aproximately 7 years-8 years.
He has heard many of my sorrows, and my happiness..
he has also went through many points of my life where i have had a downpour, or a sunshine.

But.. Dont you see why our friends are even dating their girlfriends?
Shouldnt a relationship always be built through a friendship first?
Why does everyone rush into liking someone, or even abuse the word love?
Do you really know Love?

It has always been a decision to love someone.
We all love our parents, but can we say we love them forever?
There has always been days that we HATE em. So can we say FOREVER?
No, thats all just bull...
When im getting married, im gonna tell that person that it was my decision to love him.
And even though he will have his differences, i will love his differences and his similarities.
That will be my decision, my decision to stay by the side of him till death do us apart.

Then ask yourself....
WHY start a relationship unless you want to marry that person?
WHY?
Just cause you long for someone? Because you long for Touch? Care and Concern?
thats rubbish,... you just wanna sleep with him/her.

I know i have always contradicted this say.
But because i have came this far, i can tell you all this.
It isnt easy, and it wasnt a happy way..
It will always matter on you, & you individually.
You can be the one who follows everyone, Or you can stay strong on your principles and not be peer pressurized.
It really matters WHO you are & WHAT made you.

Now, i shall demonstrate what is a relationship that was based on nothing but Nothing, and a relatinoship that has been built by friendship...

Scenario 1.
AN IMMATURED LOVE :

You have met this guy jus a few months back, you guys have been talking over the phone & msn or even going out for just a few days.
You and him have confessed and decided to be together...
Naturally, your partner has his own friends from both sex.
But lets say he hangs out wif many girls? Girl FRIENDS.
And YOU CANT stand the fact that he does,
tellING him off!
JUMPING into conclusions that arent even sensible.
Saying that shes tryna steal HIM away from you,(even though in actual fact, thats just plain stupidity)....
all this happening, resulting into a quarrel.

....
Scenario 2
MATURED LOVE :

You have known this guy from church, or whtvr, through friends or school..
You have known him as your really good friend, and have gone through many years with him.
He has always been your MALE buddy. and you have went out with many of his other friends, because his friends were your friends too....
Many years have passed and you guys are still in good terms.. After a while you have realised that he in general is a really good person, nice (wtvr suits you)....
you guys start to date.... and he acknowledges you as his girlfriend.

The same thing happens.
He has his girlmates and his guymates..
Lets say he was surrounded by many girls in this moment..( all the time esp in school or in work place.)
Do you think that you would actually think hes cheating on you?
By right no, you shouldnt, because at this point of time you would have known that he isnt that sort of person.
Your relationship has already grown on mutual trust and your bond has been strengthened over the many years...
Therefore, life carries on and eventually his friends will also be your good friends..

..............

Can you see the difference?
THIS is how it should go.
This is how it should have always have went.
But nono, everyone has their own individual perspective of love.
This is MY own perspective

NOW, i can confidently say that even if Hes going to Navy.
And even if i cant see him for months or weeks....
I know he wont Cheat on me, I know his heart belongs to JUST ME.

And now i can ABSOLUTELY say that i have dated him for only one exact reason,

Marriage.

2010-01-09T04:10:00.001+08:00

oh yea,
btw. results on monday - doomsday

another bitch alert,
she definitely loves bitching bout me too!
_ _ _ _ _

2010-01-09T04:00:00.002+08:00

im not exactly interested in knowing who u are.
You know whats wrong with you people?
is that ur so incompetent.
NAIVE & SELFISH.
FOOLISH !

i dont get it, maybe u misunderstood what was the meaning of being friends.
Right?
because friends dont go taking their friend's stuff without permission.
n pretend like we dont know?
THINK AGAIN .

i dont care if i missed ur important days.
who gives huh?
what right do you have if uve treated me just as bad ever since?
the reason why yz has always been labelled and been my best friend is becuhz,
SHE NEVER, EVER
DOES SHIT TO ME.
unlike all you ppl.
even when im e most ignorant lil brat.
shed push me to study.
isnt that what friends are for?

or do i have to keep pampering you?
dammit. i can bitch all day bout you.
but im just wasting my time bothering bout ppl such as you.

u know what? ive gt a great life ahead of me.
dumb fuck.

everybody sees its you.

2009-12-08T21:43:00.002+08:00

everybody says we're through.
i hope u havent said it too.
so where do we go from here?
with all this fear in ur eyes.

are you in the clouds of my voice?

,,,,,
i dont care if we've known ea other for a decade.
i dont care if you think im your bestfriend.
i dont care if your in australia.
i dont care if your here right now.
i dont care if we're gna celebrate this year.
i dont CARE if we're not friends.

because.. im not gonna who i am for 2010.
im gona start all over again. and be someone you all dont even know.

and you kno what?
im actually REALLY HAPPY.
im serious. LOL
ive finally done smth, so proud.

what would it be like without music?
i know, thats pretty random.

i just dun feel like meeting her.
so i guess im gna stay home. and listen to lovely melodies.
:)

man, i miss sohma.
i hope u guys are doing good
im gna pick up korean too.
prolly with ava or fp.
altho, life always isnt that smooth.
i still love it.

everyone doesnt understand, no one does right?

2009-06-09T03:42:00.002+08:00

everyone has their own problems.
their own unhappiness.
we dont compare.
we're all equally sad.
do u think i chose to be sad?
we can choose ignore it, n live life to its fullest.
but no,
we choose to ignore that God gave us an opportunity to live life to the fullest.
and treasure what he has made.
man power.
this is where it has brought us today.

each day.
someone dies.
and prolly,that someone
regrets not doing smth b4 death.
am i right?
we choose to be unhappy, because we sympathize too much.
we pity ourselves too much.
yet, we dun see that we're actually being selfish.
selfish to not ourself be happy for once.

its just like being heartbroken.
why shld u choose to sad over someone leavin u?
u cld have walked out on that psn,
tellin urself that, ud be best without that psn.
instead, you could strive higher.
and eventually. meet someone and be even MORE HAPPIER !
maybe that someone wasnt right for you
its really ok, cuhz ppl make mistakes.
just pick urself up and soon ud be back on e road !

life can be deceiving
everyone has their imperfections.
dont bother n just tolerate,
cherish what their good at.
soon ud see a difference life becomes easier. and lighter on ur shoulders.

qualification is needed to take u somewhere,
yes it is true.
thats the selfish truth bout life.
but its ok,
as long as ur doin fine, and ur doing what u love doing.
just keep it going.
take whatever shit ur boss makes u do.
life is difficult,
BUT thats e way it is right??

you dont know how much pain ive been thru.
but you also arent aware of smth.
i CHOOSE to ignore my problems sometimes, becuhz i wanna be happy for once.
its your choice.
decide whats best for you.

ive tried to convince u, but talking to you is jus as difficult.
i wish you the best.
:)

to the ppl who read my blog.
IF ever u read this entry.
always rmb to :

Live life to its Fullest !

haHA TODAY IS THE DAY!!!

2009-04-10T11:35:00.002+08:00

haha, we're goin to KL TODAY !!!
WITH MY BABY AND SPCA !
AWW, DAMN I LOVE YOU GUYS.
AND GUESS WHAT, ITS JUST NICE THAT WE'RE CELEBRATING OUR FIRST MONTH ANNIVERSARY IN KL! :) arg, LOVIN u so much baby !!!
and right NOW, U SHLD TOTALLY LISTEN TO THIS SONG,
CUHZ IT IS SOOO US !!! damn, knowing u and fallin for you was the best thing that ever happened to me :)
I LOVE YOU SWEETHEART !!
my kuku nathan wife and curry puff boy !! haha :)
thanks for being there for me rain and chuan! loveyou guys too.
we've known ea other for long and been thru alot.
Thanks !! :)
haha.
love you guys so much SPCA FOR LIFE!!

this song is to you my love :)

just a lil winny tiny wish

2009-03-25T13:44:00.001+08:00

i
WANNA
BE
YOURS
FOR
A
LIFE
TIME
:)

Avriel..

2009-03-24T05:31:00.004+08:00

i dont know if uve actually read my blog or anything,
but whtvr it is, im still gna blog haha :)
uhm, i know now we're going thru this bumpy ride cuhz of what
ur mom and dad said recently bout both of us and stuff.
but im sure after some time, hopefully the ride gets smoother and eventually
theyd approve of us n stop takin u as a kid.
i know sometimes u pause and think for a second.
i know that every time u do that, the only thing that actualy bothers u is em.
wel dont let it affect you too much alright?
im sure everything will come to some point of time where the tension breaks down n itd be fine.
now that we've been going out and stuff, its kinda weird to see you like that
all quiet and stuff.
becuhz usually ur always hyper :p and we'd be cracking jokes at ea other and stuff.
be who you are.
be who you used to be.
be happy.
be positive.
n like u said, ud get ur problems over real quick right?
:)
haha, we have yet to do so many things tgtr.
yet every day, altho we don rlly do much.
ive learnt so much bout u.
despite knowing u for too long.
theres still so much to learn !
i wanna know anything, EVERYTHING !
and oh yeah ! we're supposed to play F.E.A.R 2 TGTR. WHAT HAPPENED?!
HAHAHHAA, I ENDED UP WATCHIN TEEVEE. LOL SORRY.
andd REMEMBER to break for me!
U PROMISED OKKK !! ><
id be over there to support u on the 21st PERFORMANCE !! go go go !!
*cheers with pompoms*
^^
i guess right now.
i have people who care bout me.
my mom.
my dad.
my brother.
you.
mango.
ss/chuan.
my other friends.
n i thank em for it,
cuhz now im aware tat i aint alone anymore.
great life i have. and i love it e way it would be.
say bye to who i was.
and HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO to who i am now !

MAN! still have so many things to do !!!!!
WANLING'S PERFORMANCE TMR. darn cool. FYI, I MIGHT BRING AVRIEL ALONG. HAHAHAHHAA.
silly.
love uuuuuuuuuuuuuuu baby love.
im off to lalaland to see u :)

HAHHAA, IM OLD

2009-03-10T11:23:00.002+08:00

OMG, IM LIKE 17 THIS YEAR ALREADY, NOOOO.

getting so friggin old.

ANYWAY, I BROKE UP WITH ______. like aft 10 monts?uhm, we broke up cuhz, APPARENTLY.

HE TOT WE HAD TOOOO MANY differences, <--- (BULLSHIAT) LOL.

but whatever it is, thank you.

im havin my life now, and i can see where im going.

and i have FRIENDS !! and BOYFRIENDS!! LOL. kiddin. just many options to choose from :)

and, I LOST A LIL bit of weight, ISNT THAT GOOD ! OMGOMGOG, YES, IT IS SOOO GOOD.

wtvr, feelin rlly hyper now LLOOOL.

u know so much has happened,
too much to explain !!!

but id cut in ok?

let see, since those days,

we went out, DOING RANDOM STUFF IN ORCHARD,

FUCKING FUN !

WE BROKE INTO FRIVEN AND CO'S SMALL "PLAYGROUND" and SMOKED THERE.

HAHAHAHAHA, AND WE WENT TO SOO MANY PLACES,JUS TO HANG,

DRANK AND GOT SO FUCKING HIGH.

AHHHHHHHHH~ AND ALL THOSE CUTE GUYS! FRIGGIN CUTE LUH.

HAHAHA, we always had to count the number of ppl checkin us out LOLOOL

AND WE ALMOST DIED, THE CAR SLIDE AND ALMOST FLIPPED AT THE BUSSTOP,

AND WE WERE SITTING THERE, OMGOMGOMG.

hahaha, and i met so many new ppl. :)

SO MANY GUYS ! SO MANY NEW OPTIONS !!

SO MUCH FUN.

nah, im gna go slow.

i wanna enjoy what im doing now. LOLOL

and i wanna be close friends wif the guy first b4 i choose :P

APPARENTLY, EVERYDAY WHEN I WAS OUT WIF MANGO.

OMG, WE WALKED OUT EVERYNIGHT,

TO?

TAKE BUS,

HAHAHAHAHAHHAA, OR PUBLIC TRANSPORT.

FUCKING FUN THO.

its so cool.

cuhz i know how to take public transport already. LOLOL

THEN WE SKIPPED SCHOOL FOR LIKE 2 WEEKS, AND ALMOST GOT EXPELLED.

LOLOLOL, THEN I HAD TO GO BACK, SO NOW IM BACK TO SCHOOLING LIKE SOME GEEK.

but ACTUALLY, its okay, cuhz, I LOVE MY FRIENDS <333333333>

ALTHO, i aint so close to michelle anymore, i seriously wish her the best man !!

and we actually planned to go overseas on like e march holidays.

BUT FUCK IT, cuhz we planned to get tattoos.

BUT FUCK THAT TOO.

LOLOL.

now IM BROKE,

cuhz that MOTHER FUCKER D_Y_L_A_N , TOOK MY LAPTOP, AND I HAD TO PAY 700 BUCKS FOR HIS BULLSHIAT,

and i took it from my advance allowance,

SO, YEAH, IM BROKE T-T.

sniff.

i wan my macbook back , he doesnt wanna return it.

AIYER, WHATEVER LA.

HECK.

ANDDD U KNOW CUHZ I BROKE DYLAN BACK HOME.

MY DAD FUCKED ME UP*** "WHY E FUCK DO U BRING A TATTOO-ED GUY HOME"

WTHELL? DAD IS STUPID luh, GET E FUCK OUTTA MY life.

aft that INCIDENT, sitll can hug me and say "dad didnt mean it ok?*hughug*"

LAME -_-

BUT NOW, i spend efficient time wif my mom, HEH,

brunch wif em and stuff.

feel so good now :)

life is just great.

OK, ABOUT STUDIES.

UM, haha, i kinda screwed it a lil,

FOR CA1, I TOT ID GET single digits cuhz i slept thru most papers. LOL

but HAHA, I ACTUALLY GOT 4X MARKS LOL

SUPER SUPRISING. LOL. -_-

still bad enuff tho . LOL

i cant stand A MATHS TUITION LUH, so dam boring.

but HAIYA, too bad for me gotta sit for it.

OKOK, U KNOW THAT,

LIKE SO MANY TIMES I CAME ACCROSS THAT BASTARD.

______, but he didnt see me LOLOL

HAHAHHAAH, retard. ____ is like e last psn id wanna bump into !

TSK.

but who cares.

AVRIEL IS SOO SEXY.

hes like my freaking silly scrappy coco.

i went out wif him like a few times, and it felt so nice.

like i was wif someone i knew for soo long,

and we had so much chemistry :)

haha, like my BATHROBE? TURQUOISE :p

LOL, and his ROOM IS SOOO NICE, ITS SOO COMFY HAHA,

but he was watching me play l4d and stuff, and fallin aslp :P

SILLY BUMBLEGUM!
and we made a bet that if i cld get F.E.A.R.2 from HMV, I HAVE TO BUY IT FOR HIM ><

then we can play it tgtr over at my place aft the 20march(his holidays)
HAHAH, even if i cldnt find it there,

id prolly buy it for him cuhz i wan him to play wif me LOLOL

but anyway, we hang at SG now, (SERAGOOON GARDENS)

like we'd go there every night.

cuhz liangwei works at the lan and mango is like sooo addicted to L4D,

im supposed to be sick of it, but cuhz its so fun to play it wif other random ppl.

u always meet new ppl everyday :)

and ytd, LOL.

I MET THIS CUTE GUY,

hes 21 LOLOL and he drives a car,

HAHA WE EXCHANGED NUMBERS, :P

they all wanted to drink wif us, but we turned em down.

we walked out and took a bus to AMK industrial park instead, and bought beer ^^

man, beer is soo sickening, but it actually gets me high like faster LOL.

but it was fun and silly :)
i kept spammin calls at avriel cuhz he was sleepin, LOL. but we were supposed to meet,

that bloody idiot. LOL.

nevermind :)

had fun wif mango anyway.

and honestly,

we went thru alot .

ALOT, in just 2 mnths.

so much..

i love you Mango !

best friend ALIVE !!!!!!!!

without you, i wouldnt be where i am right now .

haha.

OH OH, AND GUESS WHAT, SHE WAS MY DATE FOR VALENTINES DAY :p

WE HAD LIKE A SUPER MAKEOVER AT THEMAKEUPSTORE AND WE HELD HANDS E WHOLE DAY !!! :P

we wore the SAME OUTFITS TOO haha couples what. LOL.

haha, she knows my darkest secrets, i knows hers too 8)

pearl, is soooo ENJOYING her life now !

and ! LOL. WE'RE SIGNING UP FOR DANCING CLASSES.

HAHAHAHAA,

im gna take up dancing/cooking/pianoORviolin classes. :P HAHAHAHHAA.

SO BUSY !!! IM A BUSY PERSON !!!
so busy that, i dun feel bored anymore.

HAHAHA,

26th/27th Jan Chinese New Year

2009-01-27T01:08:00.002+08:00

hey, im back from bali already.
im so tired. its like 1.02am already.
but ive got too much to talk about.
apparently the trip was rather pleasant.
beautiful scenes, great resorts.
mostly for honey-mooners.
but St Regis is so nice, eveyrthing is so quiet, its mainly for relaxation.
and i had a whole room suite to myself because my brother had Ben(his bestie) over for the holidays.
and mom and dad were in another suite. so i was all alone :(
and it made me miss and wish ashton was around, sigh.
how dreadful.
other than that, we did loads of visiting,
dad and mom bought bali furniture, and the physic guy is comin over in June to built up the "bali resort shit in my house thing"
weirdo parents.
but i tell you, its so different, the place, the people.
everything.
so undeveloped.
and it made the people innocent, hardworking and kind.
it isnt like singapore. boring, unpleasant, rude and non-compassionate and competition.
somehow it enlightened me, a lil. on how i should treat people, and how life is.

enough of all that preeching.
i reached home Singapore to duty free at 3.30pm.
i bought alcohol with my brother and Ben.
i got Johnnie Walker Blue Label 217$! :s expensive :) but great.
and we got home. i laid a lil, rest, and went to grandma's place for cny dinner.
exhausted, my cousin, Joan, managed to plead me to go to e bar with her to get some drinks n a smoke.
apparently, my brother came alone too,
how interesting.
she only had like 2 drinks -_- and she was down already.
it was fun tho because before that my brother was takin us on a spin and we were like speedin and taking pictures in e car, nvr had that kind of fun for so long. haha.

and now, i just managed to get her to sleep,
after she kept bragging bout the guy is liked.
and how he didnt like her and stuff.
she puked 5 times, and my sink is clogged with her vomit now.
how disgusting.

i made her drink water and brother just got hom to make her agree to get some sleep.
i am tired.
and i miss ashton right now.
hes sleeping.
baby i miss you
and i love you.
goodnight.

23rd of Jan 2009

2009-01-23T23:29:00.002+08:00

its already going to be the 2nd mnth of 2009,
so fast so dam dam fast.
and apparently..
i just came back home
went out with Ashton.

we had a small tiff like hours ago. i guess it was cuz i was kinda
OVEREACTING a lil,
sorry honey.
butttttttttttttttttttttt u gotta think bout it..
just dont say mean things such as like you dont give a dam bout nt meeting me for a week.
its really hurtful..
like DARN hurtful... i swear i was soo sad just now, it was as good as if it was e end of our relationship.
like as if you didnt care bout me anymore..
and i swear that feelin sucks..

but my fault too.
Im Sorry,
i bet you wont read this post till liek super long later.
but wtv, im just gna write everything here so in e future ud noe much better bout me.
cause i guess ur a better listener than a talker -.-
LOL.

okayy soo we did go and play left4dead like aft forcing myself to eating at BK.
i was like so tired and restless
cause my period is like DRAINING ME like shit.
and my bracers is giving me a super headache.
im going to bali tmr and it makes the situation worse.
...........l4dead was sooo fun LOl,. but we had this teammate called am193 smth.
fucking RETARD, he didnt even want to heal our other teammate, super selfish
and because of such a tedious act,
we all died and we had to restart on e mission.
n it was SOOO IRRITATING , so
we decided to kick him,
but apparently the option wasnt working well n we jus shot him to death
XD HAHAHHAAH. funny.

aft we finished the mission, we decided to ditch the place and head to starbucks
at rivervalley, wtvr that place is called.
sat around, and baby spotted a girl -.-
he was like practically looking at her.
STUPID, U THINK I DUNNO AR ! >(
:(
sigh, forget it.
we sat around and talked.
its a good thing he talked.
TO ME, OMG, miracle right.
ahha.
if i were to read the previous entries, when we were like 2 mnths .
he was so different, so lovely.
lol,.. compared to now.
sigh.
nvm.. came such a long way..
its more bout what we went thru thats difficult to let go than just bout how hes changed.
we can always adapt to it.
humans are made to adapt. to every enviroment
so i guess i can forgive him a lil.
JUST A LIL.
(doesnt mean that he should be pissed off and show off his annoying attitude to me ALL THE TIME!!!)
actually.. he kinda changed his mind bout having the rings..
and i was dam sad.
cuz we already did agree on it like from the beginning.
and i was soo lookin forward to it , like our 1 year.
and he really really doesnt give a shit bout it.
which pisses me off so much.
cause it just means he doesnt care a shit bout a relationship.
its just a JOKE .
like IM A JOKE.
sigh.
what trash.

i know ive got issues.
but you ur pretty messed up too.
either way, ive found out.
im nothing without you.

you should read this.
do you know.. the rings really mean alot to me.
it may not to you.
but it really means like the whole of my heart.
like ur sincerity.
your love for our 1 year.
do you seriously take it as a JOKE?

if you ever ever read this entry.
please tell me if its a joke. cuz i should noe the answer.
i really dont deserve this Trash your giving me.

but wtv it is.
i love you.
and take care when im gone ok?
ill so pray that ud soo not pt when im gone.
and I HATE CNY.
but GONG XI FA CAI baby.
XD
"SHUT UP FUCK FACE!"
XD
XD

baby.25TH SATURDAY, IM GOING

2008-10-25T01:44:00.003+08:00

i know im leavin later.
but, i really cant bear to go,
cause everytime i turn my back on you.
i feel so uneasy.
maybe its cause i dont trust u yet.
i dont know, ur jus too good.
i guess.
maybe im not worthy enuff for your love.
i dont even know how much u love me.
cause u stopped caring as much as you did.
im feelin more insignificant every min im wif you.
answer me,
am i that insignificant?
who am i to u ?
what would u do if im gone one day?
sigh, right now, these qns are jus running thru my mind.

ive always wanted to ask u this,
but i know because of how stubbon u are,
ud answer me the same thing,so its really no point askin u such.

anyway, since im going, give it a thought will u?

What made u turn the tables?
What made u change?
Was it because of me?
Is it impossible to go back to the way u were?

pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee think thru it.
and pls make sure u do the things i asked u to.

1. make sure u check the villa/suite info ( call them up )
2. Make sure u meet up wif serene and get ur projects done till im back
3. Make sure u spend efficient time with your gramps cause this is the best time u get ur own
space with them.
4. Try to convince/plead them bout the 2 night stayover that way i can FINALLY have my days
with you, ( itd probably be a good bidae pressie already :) )
5. DONT LOOK/TALK TO ANY GIRLS, OR GIRL-FRIENDS except for wen u nid to do
ur projects.
6. DONT YOU DARE SMOKE A SINGLE PIECE OF CIG
7. get good rest, drink lots of water, take good care of yourself.
8. VERY IMPORTANT : MAKE SURE U FREAKIN MISS ME ;( if not id be missin u for nothing.
9. sigh, i know its expensive, but COULD u try to call/msg me. whatever, id buy u a
card/prepaid. i dont care, jus msg me once in awhile, dun jus cut contact from me.
10. read the previous entry, impt take notice.
11. MY BIDAE PRESSIE? WHAT ABOUT A SUPRISE -.- my bidae is so boring meh. sian.
12. BE A BETTER MAN, make sure u cherish every day/hour/min/sec with me.
13. related to 12, cause, ive gt bad news. & maybe abit of goodnews.
14. i noe this is irrelevant but,

SIGH,

PEARL IS GONNA FUCKING MISS YOU,
MY BABY, HONEY, MUFFIN, CHOCOLATE COATED, HONEY ROASTED, BUTAAAAABUTA, whatever. IM JUS GONNA MISS U ASHTON
U BETTER MAKE SURE U MISS ME. sigh, if not my body is gna haunt u for the rest of ur life!
:(

take good care of urself,
dun play me ok.
:( make sure u msg me
make sure ur the same psn i noe wen im back
CAUTION :
IF YOU DO NOT DO ALL THE 14 POINTS ABOVE,
U WILL IMMEDIANTLY BE DISQUALIFIED, MEANS ITS OVER BETWEEN THE BOTH OF US, GET IT, UNDERSTAND ?

lastly,
idiot,
i love you :')
thanks for bein there for me..
bye...

baby, i jus wanna say this to you

2008-10-21T02:45:00.003+08:00

Right here right now.
i dont know how to say it.
but i think im really in love with you.
all i do is think about you,
you got me hypnotized, so mesmerized.
ive been with you for lets see,
190 days ?
up till now
at the first start, i wasnt aware of how u much u loved me.
to put it this way, i wasnt that serious bout us,
and i took advantage of the good things.
in fact, i played around too long that i lost what i was supposed to cherish,
You Lovin' Me.

the tables were turned
and i finally got snapped out of my fairytale and into reality.
Right now at this very point of time.
Im serious bout' you. so much that i just wanna tell the world how much You mean to Me.
the way i look at it about the past, it was jus so great.
those 190 days i had with you,
tho we quarrelled So much it broke our hearts
and scarred my eyes.
We got closer from it, everytime.

and God,
i kneel down and thank you for blessin' me with someone this special.
Thank You.

Its Now or Never,
i wanna Grab Hold of your Hand,
Hold it tight.
Baby,
Muffin,
Sweety Pie,
Im Sorry but im NOT LETTING YOU GO !

I wanna Understand you,
Put up with
Ur Bad tempers,
Ur Mean piercing words,
Ur Dumb old curfew,
Ur Uncertained Doubts,
Ur Broken promises,
Ur False Hopes,
Ur Impossible Needs.

even if we reached up to the point where u were to say.
" I Hate You " or " I Dont Love You Anymore " or " I need my space! " or " I DONT NEED YOU ANYMORE! " or " LEAVE ME ALONE " or " theres someone else in my life right now " or .....
thinkin of it just tears my heart into pieces..
im gonna endure all of it,
make it mine and fight back for the rights of my love.
THIS IS HOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO ME ASHTON!
this is how much the world needs to know about my love.
the Special One !

& maybe before its too late..
i jus wanna say..
I love you..

with my illness.
maybe its too late already...
Im Sorry....

..

2008-09-22T13:07:00.000+08:00

you cant understand,
i could just kill a man

11th of august

2008-08-11T20:59:00.002+08:00

wtf man, this is the worst day of my life.

consistently.

i jus freaking quarreled with ashton like 5 times

-.- over stupid stuff

like Norris and flowers and not meeting me .

wthell man

so funny tho

i was like fucking pissed off

well, i wldnt be suprised since its like my PMS week now.

so yeahhhhhh..........................

i kinda expected to flare up.

i jus felt like punnnching someone real bad.

fuck, it was so bad i wanted to smash my mirror

dont know wthell is wrong

and in e first place i was so fucking tired

cuz last night i jus slept like 3 hrs.

mich fell aslp at 4 but i cldnt slp cause of fucking EXORCIST movie

till like 5 am,

THEN TASHi ( mich's dog )

WAS LIKE SCRATCHIN the door like for 2 hours str8 -.-

and i wasnt even fully awake at that point of time

so my body didnt move at all

apparently, i somhoow managed to catch some slp and woke up at 10 -.-

rushed home for Jason's tuition and he woke me uppp wthell

i was soo tired i cldnt move out of the bed till he had to like push me out..

probably explains why im in SUCH a bad mood now

i dont know man,

steph?

been thinkin so much shyt bout her

fuck, aft wad Norris said......

man,,,,, jus wanna give up so badly right now

we both got totally pissed off,

decided to lose itt at 6.58pm and hang up the phone.

well, he said he'd meet me at 9

but.. its 9 now and he hasnt called.

so i doubt so.

UHM, i kinda expected it

since right now, i feel like smashin him up.

yep yepp

i think am gna distract myself further, and jus enjoyyyy wad im doin right now.

UHm, concentrate on my studies, sit for N lvls, finish e coursee

save money andddddddddddddddd be myself for the rest of my life

live life to ya fullest huh !

o well.

michelle said a good point.

always get a someone who loves u more than u love him/her.

so actually, u cld say that steph was better than me.

IN Any way.

so much for him regretting leavin her.

it jus simply means that he still has feelings for her.

FULLstop !

tomorrow is chemistry paper & Amath P1.

10 mins ago,, i jus ended A math tuition with Serene.

sigh, tmr i nidda pass up ART prep andd i gt tuition wif serene

might have to even meet Joan(Cousin) to pass her e bidae present.

she flawns toooo MUCH.

sigh, how i wish she was the way she was 5 years ago.

UHmm,

well

ive come 2 this conclusion that.

IF , he doesnt bother to turn his fucking ass to talk to me in 2 hrs.

i am NEVER EVER, gonna be with him EVER again.

this is it man, u made me cry enuff already .

lalalaa, happy life

i feel fine now. i guess :)

SUNDAY today!

2008-06-09T04:09:00.002+08:00

uhm.

i woke upppp super late today, like 1.40pm or smth like that

i wassss lazin out, and as usual i msged baby.

apparently he was still in bed, and i woke him up.

msged SS and planned to go out wif herr,

i tried to study my makeup stuff,

listed down the stuff i nided to buy,

and it looks like id be spending ard 1k for the makeup.

sigh, looks like i nidda get another form,

andddddddddddddddddddddddddd

i still nid to save up for the siloso beach resort hotel beach stay ,

b4 i go back to sch, that is.

sigh, i don wanna go back to sch.

jus die from it ehhh.

it looks like im running out of time already.

sigh,

i jus wanna stayyyy wif ashton,,,,, yeah,

gee, nidda study tooo.

guess, id be plannin, and studying this whole 2 weeks!

time, please dont pass too fast.

am missin out on so much already.

i terribly miss ashton right now.

havent seen him for like the past few 24+ donno how many hours?

:( am seein him like in 5 hrs timeeeee,

i jus cant waitttt to seee him,

ok, so tomorrow, id probably like go out, jog, eat prata uhm.

go home, bathe, get outt, i dono?

try to study for awhile , buck up on a and e math.

and uhm, eat wif baby,,,,,,,, uhm. otherssssss?

and at night, id do the form,

brush it up tmr mornin.

show it to mom, and get the stuff ready.

plead my brother to lend me his credit card to book hotel stayy .

anddd uhm. probably try to study for the next few days

till nxt weeek, i go shop for makeup and stay in sentosaaaaa and violaa!!!!!!

study in it toooo!.

aft that, its gonna be school.

i canot miss the first day of school.

but i probably won go the first week....... id be too lazy to move my ass back to school.

sigh, stress, N lvls are comin.

please?

someone help me?

i wish i wasnt so distracted by him,

its jus tooo much,

now all i wanna do is be with him!!!

spend every hour, every min , ever second , EVERY MILLEEEEE SECOND of my life with him!!!

cause i jus cant simply live without him!

sweeeetie, i love you so muchhhh!!!

and pleaaaaaseeee,

if im the icing of the cake.

do i taste as good as the cake tooo!?

june 7!

2008-06-08T03:01:00.002+08:00

UHM.

hahaha, chuan left for Ns already.

time flies huh.

its already June.

and, apparently..

i kinda miss chuan. AS A FRIEND.

duh, i mean like. ya.

wif them and stuff.

SS + chuan.

cute couple.

now am stuck wif Ash.

hhahaa, ma cutie booyy.

hes obviously there as u can see, in the layout.

took that in the ferris wheel.

on wednesday,

the last day we celebrated with chuan.

uhm. farewell i guess.

hahaha sorry, am makin it sound as if hes gna be gone forever.

HAHAAHAAA, but oh well.

their my close friends anyway.

really treasure them..

uhm, tho ill get to see them.

but, its gna be different.

and i kinda know its gna happen..

so, Ash, is like gna be my companion for the next few years till hes gone too?

uhm.

wadya think of him?

uhm,, hes nice i guess.

really good guyyy..

i went to escape on wednesday wif them.

then lik.

i think i didnt sit on rides for long, so i kinda like was so friggin scared.

and b4 i ate mac like some fucking hungry bitch,

so i felt like pukin.

and guess wad.

He ran all the way out to Watsons to get me sour plums?

Oh My Gawd?

LOL.

thats like, WOW. HOLYSHYT.

><>

but one thing too good bout him.

is that.

hes too kind,

seriously.

it makes him, too good,

to be mine..

he doesnt see it, but hey..

everyone noes your good.

dont be humble.

cuz its a faaact.

who wldnt wanna hav a good lookin bf.

kind,

sweet,

treaaaats his gf like a princess.

should i say im lucky?

sigh, i really dono.

somehow.

i jus really wanted to get a good bf.

but..

not this good.

jus a normal relationship will do.

is this what i really want?

anyway.

few hours back.

he was over here,

at ma home.

i slept like some pig till 5pm

and decided to wake up.

hahaha.

went to PS.

gt the groceries.

and got HELL LOTS OF junk food.

totally fun doing groceries.

LOL.

i had to get a father's day pressie tooo.

got my dad a mug, wif a bell on it,

a shop next to mini toons.

really cool stuff!

cheap too ! hahaha.

oh dang.

i really wan my dad's credit card :(

i wanna shop more!!!

raawwwr

atually

we planned to watch a movie.

bt there was nth left but that stupid gay narnia.

so we were like,

awww, fuck it, we aint watchin it.

super dum. fck the lion.

reminds me.

i watched kungfu panda ytd!

SUPER HILLARIOUS!!!

U GUYS GOTTA CATCH IT, or maybe u alr did.

hahahaha. i wanna watch it again!

NOOODLE DREAAAAAM.

YUMMMMY!

LOL

BY SOME CHANCE, does a duck LOOK NYTHING LIKE A PANDA TO YOU !? OMFG?!

and feng was there.

talking all kinds of shyt again.

made baby slide down the escalator?

like WTF?! LOL.

in greatworld.

brother was actually there.

he msged me earlier then to ask if i was going out.

wondering if i wanted to go out wif him.

sweet thing.

BUT MORONIC!

arg, he hasnt gt my iphone fixed yet, now ive gt no phone to useee.

HAHAAA, BK TO TOPIC~

i gt the gift right.

MIRACLE : there were act taxis waiting for us, than we waiting for taxis. WOOOT.

bingo, gt on a cab, went str8 hm, and jus nice. tot it was my parents car, but it turned out to be my brother!

HAAAA! he was going to dinner wif mom and dad, LOL. he was drivin the mercs.

idiot, i gotta hav my car soon!!

ahhhh!

okok, anyway, HAHHAHHHAA, WE COOKED SPAGGETTI?

like wif clam chowder. from cambelle soup

AND LIKE

AN OVERLOAD OF SAUSAGES

-.-

made it taste REWALLLY WEIRD

and salty.

but hahaha, ate it still

cause i was really hungry.

and SWEETIE MADE IT, so no choice :X

hahahhahaha sweetie, YOUR SOOO ADORABLE.

don worry, your gna cook for sure nxt time wen ya married to me.

LOL,

and PUHHHLEASEEE.

THE CHOPPPER STORY?!

NAAAAAH, it aint gna happen.

superman would probabbly save me from the choppper man! >:)

hahhaa, luv ya so mch.

had to STUFF THE PIZZA DOWN,

cause i tot he said we were gna microwave ittt or smth.

in e enddd.

he said, "we'll eat it another time"

omg? sorry, i didnt hear properly!!!

ahhhh, ah fk it,

leftovers were dumped into the fridge. LOL

hahahahha, :X

ate puddin, and jelly.

awww, yummy.

and slacked more.

kinda talked abit.

uhm, babies leavin for Ns next year.

don realy wan him to go.

but gt no choice right.

sigh, i really don wanna lose him..

somehow.

i really wan us to work out.

as much as my other relationships.

i wanna be wif him, even if we hav to go thru shyt.

i wanna be wif him.

i noe, i do throw my temper ard..

but yeah, am gna change,

for the better.

alright sweetie?

hang in thr ok!?

don give up on me T.T

I STILL WAN MY TIFFANY AND CO RING!!!

RAAAAAAWR.

nEXT WEEK IS OUR ANNIVERSARY!!!

U HAV TO RMB >(

hahahhaa, REGRET HAVIN ME!?

IMA TORTUROUS GIRLFRIEND.

expensive one too!

Sorry, the box said, it came wif no batteries included.

but nvr stated the bad points huh,

TOO LATE.

CAUSE THE GREAT SINGAPORE SALE IS OVER HONEY,

uve got me,

so,

LIVE WIF IT!

ROFL.

uhm.

2008-05-04T03:15:00.002+08:00

today, saturday. the 3rd of may.

should i be counting down the days till Chuan is gna be entering ns?

or should i be counting down till my exams are over.

sigh

i dont even noe where to begin with!

should i be stressed up.

cause theres nth i can do nw.

but. i miss onli one person now.

and that person is Ash!!

as always.

i cant get to see him on sundays.

sigh, wad a disappointment.

im totally over obsessed with him.

gosh.

but i cant help but feel inferior

he kinda rated me out of 10.

i got 8.5 .

i don know.

but somehow.

i felt as if i should hav been given lower than that.

really.

i would have given him 8.5

wen we werent togtr.

and he'd be at cyrus and stuff.

i tot.

he was jus some cute candy eye guy.

uhm.

but i didnt daaaaare to like talk to him & stuff.

i didnt even dare to look at him in the eye.

but now.

i don wanna be seen with him.

i don wanna be seen holding his hand.

its not a disgrace to me.

but its a disgrace to him.

i don wanna humiliate him.

wad should do.

maybe if i really lose all that weight.

its gna make be better.

then i wouldnt feel ashamed.

and. am gna clear my closest.

nths enuff.

i don look good enuff.

not enuff for him...

arg.

i love him helllllll lots.

even at one glance at him.

itd jus make me smile!

oh god........

herbal life. puhlese..

are u sure.

i jus went to look for andy today.

and uhm tpy was super hott today!

i was like sweating and stuff.

like alooot.

sheesh.

we all were.

and , ash can carry me!

wad a miracle

haha.

oh wel.

i can carry him too.

so yeah.

teehee.

we ate at pasta mania

i had carbonara.

but i was like fulll aft a few mouthfull..

and we catcheddd iron man today!

haha , it was super funny.

really really funny.

i was kinda high like b444 we catched the movie.

went back hm to change.

and i was like dancing infront of rain.

LOL

and we were like CAM WHORING the whole time

ahhaa super funnny.

hhhhhhhhmmmm.................................

i don know wad to blog anymore.

kinda lost my mood...

talkin to him on the phone while bloggin.

maybe its true wad chuan say.

we aint over our past.

i know he misses her.

i also know i do miss him.

but, are you sure we're takin the right step forward..

cause i dont think we shld..

i dont wan to.

i dont feel like it.

they aint there for us anymore.

are they..?

omg

2008-04-27T21:10:00.002+08:00

I LOVE YOU BABY.

GANBATTE FOR YOUR PREESENTATION!

IM SORRY THAT WE'RE WATCHING SUPERHERO MOVIE TODAY.

BUT I PROMISE ILL WATCH IT WIF U AGAIN!

im sure ya can do it for ur presentation

am your 24hr 7 11

i love you TRUCK LOADS!

uhmm

aft talking to you,

i guess we really were made for each other.

thank god i found someone like you.

BABY I LOVE YOU!!!!

LOVE YOU LOVE YOU LOVE YOU!

omg im so in love with you .

friday.

2008-04-26T04:43:00.003+08:00

uhm.

i dont really remember anything.

but actually.

english paper was fine today.

didnt really turn out as hard as they said it was.

i was jus fed up of writing long compos n stuff.

friggin boring.

i was fallin aslp during the paper.

uhm.

thanusha. kinda 2 faced mango back then.

said she bitched bout me and stuff.

and now,

she thinks i hate mango

and tries to drag me across to her side.

well, sorry thanusha.

but am sticking to mango. cause i love her!

oh well.

wads wif ppl these days.

two facing.

wad bitches!!!

not worth talking bout them.

aft school. i rushedddddd out anddddd went ta find ash.

oh how sweet of him to get me my books :0

not only that but did he get me a present tooo!!

how lovely :)

i kinda knew it was perfume since it came from DFS :p

teehee, love ya hunny.

ur like the first sweet and caring bf ive eva had.

am thankful for that!

we also headed down to SGH,

and visited rain's father.

omg. how sad luh.

he looked all sick .

:( it was quite scary tho.

oh well !

i gotta gooo !

so see ya :)

thursday.

2008-04-25T00:05:00.002+08:00

nth much. went to school. had fun.

talked to alot of friends.

kinda had a reunion wif thanusha :)

glad to hear shes fine wif stuff.

and is currently lookin for a hunk! haha.

gee.. how sweet .

right aft school, i rushed.

and went to cut ma hair wif them all.

cut like nvr cut.

haha, didnt make any difference not cutting.

oh well, jus to satisfy myself i guess.

then we headed down to tiong bahru.

ate raja inn.

yummy, the supporter of kris lan.

hoho.

ate alot.

ash was like practically feeding me alot.

but oh well.

most of the time i was worrying bout bumpin into my teachers.

obviously i wldnt wanna be seen out.

by them.

esp the day b4 the exams.

lol.

aft eating like helll lot.

we sent them home.

and went to T3.

oh god!

its really niceeee.

like REALLY REALLY REALLY nice.

so cool for an airport.

we wanted to walk to TCC .

but in the end we chose macs at T2.

so we took the skytrain.

yeah.

, at macs. i kinda lazed out alr.

and we both decided to move on to east coast.

it wasnt really wad i expected.

but. well.

at least we did talk.

talk bout stuff.

our past and all that.

he did tell me bout stefanie.

and serene.

and other scandals.

and his maple life.

i kinda gt affected by it. lol..

dunno.

felt rather miserable.

like i was like some "other girlfriend" of his.

uhmm.. didnt really feel good..

so i didnt wanna talk.

uhm.

2008-04-23T23:13:00.002+08:00

am feelin.

a little.

bored.

dead.

tired from sch.

shagged up.

sad.

emo.

man, am dead today.

don feel abit alright.

thnks for bein there for me.

butttttt yeah,

immmmm really really tired.

and sicky fed up bout some stuff that i cant say.

been messagin eugene lately.

kinda promised him and made a deal

that if i passed my N lvl.

i cld go to taiwan or HK wif him!

hahha. cool stuff.

sigh, gotta contact andy soon.

i so wanna lose weight yeaaah.

makes me look so ugly :(

uglee is not Teh thang puhlease!

i kinda gt crashed up .

feeel sad.

wad ya think i shld feel sad bout today.

ah, forget it.

i aint bloggin today.

gt NO MOOD at all.

whatever

uhm

2008-04-22T23:18:00.002+08:00

hi there!
am gna give this blog a fresh start :D
am gna change the layout
and dedicate it to my friends and lova boyfrie!!
:)
love you guys.

haha. much has happened recently.
but i gotta tell someone i love him!!

AHHHH, am missin u badly.
andddd I LOVE YOU!!!

but sad thing is.
i aso gotta tell him that,
if ya aint ready ta be wif me and all.
even tho ya do say ya love me.
dont take this step ok?
ill understand,
no worries.
even if she meant alot to you.
and i still had a place in ur heart.
at least i knew i had met someone like you
:)
if ya ready.
take ma hand.

today we did smth unexpected.
lol.
shh, i aint tellin a soul
aft that we kinda went to mind cafe
wif chuan and rain.
played saboteur.
super fun board game :D
hahaha, first we found out chuan was the one.
then rain TWICE.
hahah.
they ate something.
and we had brownies wif vanilla icecream!
yummy :)

been back to school.
and suprisingly.
mango came
like FINALLY!
aft so long.
heard her mom did black magic to her
and stuff.
didnt turn out quite good anyway.
><
sigh.
i hope ya gna be fine babe.
i missed ya alot yeah noe.
me and anita.
oh god.
i had so much fun in school fun fair tho.
:)
finally felt like a class.
somehow.
ahha.
exams are like this week.
LOL.
and i havent even started studying anything at all.
><
am jus thinkin bout june holidays.
LOL.
><
i havent started on art either!
oh yeah.
eugene accidently called me during SS class.
and i was like, HUH.
then he was like, OOPS.
DIALED WRONG NUMBER,.
i was like WTH!!
hahah.
so i asked him how is he and stuff.
everythings fine.
i guess.
nicholas/Reign is doing fine without me :)
glad to hear that.

maybe am feelin a little sad,
but i guess its gna be over soon.

hahha,
oh yeah.
ASHTON, lISTENS TO ALL MY FAV BANDS!! <3
OMFG.
wad aaaaaaaaaaa miracle.
hahaha.
its like. reign listens to hard metal, rock.
but me and him listen to rock.
NOT HARDCORE ROCKERS.
finally found someone .
hahah.
oh god i so wan PARAMORE to come to singapore!!
SWEET stuff.

tho am in love with him and stuff.
im still worried bout serene uhm.
sometimes he gives me the look as if he aint ready and stuff.
i feel really insecure and stuff.
wellllllll....
oh gooood.
lets jus wait and see yeah.
but i gotta like be careful lool.

i dont realli know if he knows bout my blog.
but yeah.
hahaa.
AM IN LOVEEEEEE WITH you.
my irresistable lova boy.

i kinda gt closer to ma parents cause of wad happened recently.
but well,
i think ima get used to it.
early nights and stuff.
i so wanna go shoppin!!!
i wan mango dresses and tops and bags.
i think shades too!
heh, baby knows me best.
i onli wanna see myself in the mirror.
hahaha. :)
oh well.
i gotta gooooo. cant be on this all day.

OH YEAH,
PS.
CHUAN IS GOING TO NS LIKE ON 6TH OF JUNE.
we're all quite disappointed bout it.
but anyway his bidae is on may 31st.
am gna make it special
esp for him and rain :)
tats wad i can do as a friend.

i love you guys.
so do i love you, ashton

hm

2008-04-06T09:16:00.002+08:00

hi all. its been long since ive blogged right?

well.

ima delete this blog soon.

cause it carries not meanin anymore.

.haha. all the memories.

everything.

from rain , my friends.

to leonard.

to Reign..

ima dedicate this last post

to reign.

lol.

well.

recently.

its been really long

since then.

aft everything.

i finally gave up on u

and i did.

i gt over u.

real quickly.

in fact, i knew it was no use carrying on wif u.

haha,.

but somehow.

im jus running away from the fact that.

actually.

aft the end of the day.

i still do love u.

jus that am runnin away frm the fact that i do.

7 mnths of memories.

obviously.

bbut

the gap's too big.

too big for us to carry on,

u noe it too.

sigh,

u rmb.

hw we met.

hahha

watch saw 4.

and u kissed me

used to sit on the bench and watch couples do that sweet stuff

and we'd be laughing at them

we did so much stuff tgtr.

silly

retarded.

random

stuff.

we were very much in love.

but now.

we jus quarrel everyday.

sigh, im sick and tired of it.

i realli miss those days back then.

but we cant get it back anymore.

do u rmb all that..

all that we did.

rmb i met u wif that umbrella outfit.

went to yw's hse to steamboat .

rmb how hard i used to try to get to noe ur friends better.

rmb i put on bracers for u

and it realli hurt i couldnt eat.

rmb we used to say.

"wanna feel my angry beaver"?

u rmb wad u gave me on my bidae?

u rmb everything?

rmb

wen we used to quarrel.

we'd stop

and start laughing at ea other

cause we knew it was silly?

right there,

that was love.

how i wish, i could be back in those days.

our very first rings.

i swear.

i loved u.

we were so in love.

now,

its too late.

to even say,

i love you.

i love you

2008-02-25T17:34:00.002+08:00

i realli do love you.

u knew i wldnt leave.

but, u cld bear to ask me to leave?

sigh.

aft everything i did.

i said sorry.

i tried to make you feel happier.

i wanted you to be alright.

so we cant fight. EVERYDAY.

sigh i do love you.

i realli do.

all the tears.

it was for you.

you knew it.

depression.

2008-02-25T17:14:00.002+08:00

everyone supports me in wad im doing.

my brother, his gf.

he sent me home.

said its okae.

dont worry,

everything will be fine

and dont think too much.

wonderlin came.

she pat me on the back.

said. its okae.

it hurts, still..

i dont know.

he was it.

hes my everything.

=_=

2008-02-21T10:46:00.002+08:00

sigh.

I LOVE YOU ABBBBABY

reign.

nicholas kong peng hao.

dun angry wif me ley.....

sighhhh...

sigh.

2008-02-20T23:34:00.002+08:00

these few days. mango slept over at my place.

now shes back home.

i miss her terribly :(

its like shes missing from my life nowww.

we ate soggy nuggets on the first night

2nd day we shopped.

at night we talked and talked

and shared every problem we had

how lovely.

now shes home and im all alone now.

theres no one to pack my sch bag!! ><>

(she packs it for me LOL)

sighhhhh mango i miss u.

sighhhh.

iloveyou!!

if ur father is causing any problems

or hes stalking u

or he DARES TO LAY ONE FINGER ON YOU.

i FUCKING swear he can forget bout livin life the way it is alr.

so tell me okae.

apparently im shopping for ur boxes soon. LOL

so yeah.

topshop boxes. mus be realli good huh.

u have to come along wif me to the marooon 5 concert.

i wanna bring u along

then we could sing our songs :P

ya know with her,

i can forget everything ard me.

like EVERYTHING.

id jus be so happy.

tho we do miss ppl at times.

but this time.

i jusss dump everything aside and hang out wif her.

ahhaa.

we ate mac on the last dayd.

and ended up slping at 3am again

super tiring.

havent been slping at all for the past few daysss!

but it was worth it.

my tuiition board.

mango drew on it.

LIKE PRACTICALLY THE WHOLE THING

lool

i <3>

np bout the stay over k.

ILL BE THERE FOR U

ANYTIME,

ANYWHERE.

best friendssssssss!!

PAPAYA LOVES MANGO.

i looked for love.

in stranger places.

but never found someone like you.

someone who smiles,

makes me feel like im holding back

but theres nth i can do.

this is real this is good.

all of our friends.

saw from the stars.

but why didnt we believe it too.

look, where we are.

ur in my heart

and theres no escaping .

cause this is real and this is good.

walking on the hills at night.

with the fire and candle lights.

you and me were meant to make love right.

you are the sun in my universe.

considering the best out of the worst!

most of all,

its built to last.

DEDDICATEEED TO BABY & MANGO

the ppl that makes my life happening.

..

2008-02-18T14:18:00.003+08:00

u dun even msg me wen i dont.

to tell me how much uve missed me.

do you?

uhmm,

2008-02-14T06:57:00.002+08:00

recently i was sick right.

so baby took good care of me.

it was reallliii sweet.

and i appreciate it hell lots.

he was like hugging me the whole time to keep me warm

><>

and i had to eat horrible food cause i cant eat anymore

oily food :((

so we went to ikea. and planned to buy lots of stuff alr

like this semi egg chair.

and this stick to the wall table.

but his mum said it wasnt good, so its best to buy the ones wif the legs.

ahha, my mum placed the plasma teevee in my room alr.

dam big i swear -__-

bigger than my drawer.

sooo scarry

anyway. it was realllllli sweet of him to take care of me

. suprisingly.

ahhaa. that all happened on tuesday anyway.

today is valentines day.

i gt home at 4am.

and guess wad.

i lost my ipod.

i dropped it on the cab

but me and the driver searched for it.

but it was there.

weird thing was, that i was listening to it on the whole trip down in the cab.

so it must have rolled under the chair or smth.

i then gt home and called the company to ask the cab driver to check again.

but he said he couldnt find it.

sooo yeah. kinda weird.

nevermind.

i dun realli feel remorsful over it.

it jus means i can get ipod touch. LOOL . :X

hhahaa. naaah.

im jus lazy.

anyway not having one is gd too.

cause it keeps u undistracted from conversations.

seriously, its true.

enuff of that.

apparently

i found out that the GODIVA chocolates he was gna give me was

13 chocolates in one tiny winy box.

and for 130$ thats totally NOT WORTH IT,

so i told him to buy me smth instead.

uhmm i dun realli noe wad tho.

we're gna buy it today.

i wann a ring, like a realli special one ( with a diamond )

but obviously he couldnt get it for me.

well, maybe in the future :X

sigh, gt many stuff to settle,

my voice aint back tho.

not as bad as ytd.

but still bad.

i finished watching the series Jikou Keisatsu.

mystery stuff.

reall nice and funny. :)

i kinda yz tho.

i havent been talking to her for like few mnths now.

i think shes been real bz and stuff

and i cant realli contact her much cause wen im away, shes there.

but wen im there, shes away.

so yeah

recently she told m e she had an accident

,but thnk god shes fine

she actually talked to me.

she doesnt talk to me anymore.

like really.

abit weird, cause it jus means i aint close to her anymore.

mango is like my closest friend now.

ahhaa. and baby.

i still gt eugene,

yw jia hao. blah blah.

kenneth,,,,, is in camp.

heard there was a internal conflict between him and the liang shan brothers.

sadddddd.

kenneth has changed alot.

like real ALOT.

i dunno, from the way i see it.

hes all different now.

yw asked me ytd if i was gna learn skating from him.

so hes gna follow me soon to buy my skates ! ;D

finally, i get to skate. hahaha.

fun shit.

i hope i dun break any bones!!!

*touch wood *

thinking bout them.

it reminds me of baby's exgirlfriend.

i dunno, they seem much closer to her .

i noe they were form JJC.

but did i miss anything frm her?

do i misss all the charactertics she had.

i dun even noe why reign loves me.

as much as he did to her.

why why why.

i realli wanna noe WHY

sigh, i miss havin fun wif him.

i miss yz.

i miss mangoo.

i miss studying.

i miss my ipod :(

i miss our christmas moods.

i MISS HOLIDAYS!!

so i can slp over at babies house.

not having to worry wad time i nid to get home.

cause baby has to slp.

i hate it wen he "chases" me hom.

-___-

i hope we dun fight.

esp today.

on valentines day.

i love him.

but i dun like quarreling.

and everytime we do.

instead of me walking out on him.

its him who walks out on me.

i feel played.

played off my feelings.

where have you gone to,

is it jus me or am i losing my way.

did u lose your heart?

can i find it ,

did u trade it for something better.

you felt it so strong but,

nothings turned out how you wanted.

all i need ,

is the air i breathe.

Reign,

your the air i breathe.

uhmm.

2008-02-11T16:23:00.000+08:00

alot has happened.

ahaha. don realli noe wad to say. lol.

but.

i went out wif feng they all. had so much fun.

like kteeeveee and all that.

and his ex gf came down.

but feng persuadded me to find some time wif her. so she could go out wif him.

but she figured out that he persuaded me.. and

she told me that she came down jus to tell him that she wans to move on.

uhmm. sad.

feng was sad.

but aft awhile. he was fine.

haa. aft ktv we went to changi village to eat nasi lemak.

but it was closed.

so yeah.

ahahaa they ended up eating smth else.

i was falling aslppp.

so they made me look at OCH for once and drove me home.

how sweet :)

there was this guy called TK.

super weird luh.

they all said that he was interested in me.

they all said that he wass weird too. ahahhaa.

anyway who cares.

i love baby :)

hell noes wad im gna do.

anyway. recently like a few days ago.

smth bad happened btwn me and him.

i threw the ring out of the window for real.

our rings.

i was so sad.

i cried like hell.

but he went down to find them

and he did!

he found them :D

wad a relieff.

i tot i had lost all hope then.

><>

it was the worst feeling ever.

sigh. we do fight.

but we've been trying to avoid it alr.

and i noe we'd work out tgtr.

cause he loves me.

so do i love him.

valentines day is near.

hahaha. i kinda bugged him to tell me wad he was gna give me

LOL. and his mouth itchy LOL.

so he told me hahahahaha

130 bucks worth of godiva chocolates.

exp luh.. 10$ per chocolate.

i eat one 10$ gone. LOL

but nvm.

it was sweet.

i dunno wad to get him.

i ask my brother

and he told me some realli nice stuffs to get.

but i dun think they have it in singapore

hard to find.

im sick and im staying home.

asthma realli bad and im still eating chocolate cake

:X hehehe.

ahhh. im cracking my head on wad to give hiiim!!!!!!!! ;(((((

RAAAAAAAAAAAWR.

someone tell me please.

we're gonna be 5 mnths sooon. lol.

suprisingly.

cause id be his longest.

LOL.

nyway i gtg for tuiition. LOL.

sigh.

2008-02-07T01:34:00.000+08:00

OMGAWD. this is a random post.

HAPPY CNY TO ALL.

IM HUNGREE :(

lol

2008-02-06T12:25:00.000+08:00

hoho.
its chinese new year.
and i gt my new phone alr.
its like super hot
the lights are purple
instead of that ugly green blue thing loool
anyway.
supposed to meet up wif mango
but i couldnt cause ive gt cny dinner.
miss her loads luh.
tell you, school is like so fun now.
i actually went to school for close that 2 weeeks . without
not going for 1 day.
she was like telling me bout stewart and how hott he is.hahaa.
anyway.
i got back wif reign i think.
yeah.....
i dunno wad im doin for him but yeah.

i quarreled wif rain .
dunno for wad dum particular reason.
like oh on tuesday i was supposed to get my phone
but in the end we didnt get it
cause chuan cldnt make it in time.
and he told me.
so i was ok, im fine wif the idea that we collect the next day instead.
and then she smsed me.
started saying that wtf was i doing at reign's place
well,
i was obviously having dinner right?
and she said it was my fault that chuan gt scolded by the dealers
cause i called him late and informed him.
-_- how to call u wen i havin diinner.
common sense if you noe u have to be there b4 9
and ur taking the mrt. leave earlier right?
dun tell me i have to estimate the timing u'd reach there exactly
and call u up like an alarm clock.
if ur pissed offf cause i was still there at his place at 9 PLus.
your weird.
cause obviously u wld stay at ur bfs place till that late cause u canceled the meeting at 7 plus.
dun tell me u wanna go to tp myself -___-
if u wan the phone timing records.
i have it here.
if u believe whatever wild imaginations u have.
i dun noe wad the hell is happening to u.
but all i noe. is that
i wasnt nvr at fault in e beginning
and u noe it better urself.
who canceled the meeting.
who was the one who was late.
pls understand the fact that.
i am not the mrt.
i dun control how fast or slow u go.
if u still insist that it was my fault. and wtf was i doin having dinner at his place.
that doesnt bother, cause i alr said, i was having dinner b4.
end of story.

well, mango agreeed with me, so did everyone.
so i completely stayed ignorant.
couldn realli be bothered cause it was no point doing such a thing.
i told feng wad i was doing
he understood.
good thing cause he told me wad to do.
apparently i cant stand the fact that "he"
plays ignorant to me too.
aha, im playing the blind mice game.
dunno.
i prefer havin fun wif friends. :)
iloveyou mango xoxo
kisses and hugs

your beauty is a sensation
you send men into temptation.
I never knew a girl could shine like a sun
You better thank your mama cause girl you the one
We should have a day of celebration
Celebratin God's best creation
Girl you gotta beautiful vibration
Every day should be your birthday hon
You make the guys all dumb
Maybe cause you're blessed with the beautiful buns
Maybe cause your beauty keep the dues on sprung
Wonderin just where you got that from.

Baby where'd you get yo' body from, tell me where'd you get yo' body from {*2X*}
(I got it from my mama, I got it from my mama)
(I got it from my mama, I got it, got it, got-got it..)
Baby where'd you get yo' body from, tell me where'd you get yo' body from {*2X*}
(I got it from my mama, I got it from my mama)
(I got it from my mama, I got it, got it)

woooooooooooo
i got it from mah mama!
;D
iloveyou too mango xoxo!!

ladies ladies.tsk.

..

2008-02-04T07:04:00.000+08:00

maybe yw was right.
i donn know.
i dun even noe wad my heart tells me.
i dun know.
being confused.
and not being able to take a break.
i wanna be sure of my feelings.
ive changed.
changed into a better person.
but its not myself..
i dun feel good.
maybe aft awhile ill get used to it.
maybe ill be quiet.
like real quiet..
i dun like this silence.
makes me feel real uncomfortable.
i dun speak as much or laugh as much as i used to right.
i dunno. speaking isnt a good thing.
i dun feel alright.
i dun feel myself.
i aint myself anymore.

my pride.
its all gone.
my happiness.
it jus disappeared.

i dunno wads going on

2008-01-29T16:20:00.000+08:00

why cant u jus be like who u were 3 mnths ago.

everything bout you has chnged.

ur attitude, your response, reactions.

you dont care nymore do u.

crying is wad i do every single day now.

im not happy .

im sad.

filled wif sadness and loneliness.

im so fucking stupid.

why cant i jus let go.

why cant i jus go

go and forget everything bout you.

jus fucking get outta my life pls.,

STOP SAYING YOUR NOT GOOD ENUFF FOR ME.

OR U DUN WANNA BORE ME.

OR ITS BEST I GO WIF MY FRIENDS.

STOP SAYING THAT PLS.

THE TRUTH IS I WANNA SEE YOU.

WHY R U ALWAYS CHASING ME AWAY..

IF U REALLI DUN WANN ME ARD. THEN TELL ME STRAIGHT IN MY FACE

SO I NOE.

THEN I WLDNT DISTURB U ANYMORE.

IT HURTS ALOT WEN U KEEP SAYING THOS U NOE.

CAUSE U JUS UNDERSTAND ME SOMETIMES.

IVE WROTE IT OUT MANY TIMES ON MY BLOG

WHY CANT U GET IT. WHY CANT U UNDERSTAND IT.

DO U NOT NOE WAD AM I TRYING TO SAYY"??!?!"??!!?!?!?"!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!???!!??!

I GAVE UP..

im givin up..

i beg you.

it may not hurt to you at all.

but i cant take it.

..

2008-01-28T16:57:00.000+08:00

seriously,

i hope someone takes me away from him.

and if that happens

i swear.

im gna be better.

much better than b4.

cause i dun wanna be fooled by u anymore.

im gna totally walk outta ur life

and forget everything we had.

SOMEONE, ANYONE,

jus take me away...

i dun get it

2008-01-25T08:44:00.001+08:00

wthell is going on with you.

small thing aso u wan to flare up.

u have PMS ar.

-__-"

i aso nvr say anything wrong then u flare up.

omg wtf is wrong wif u these few days luh.

dun let it affect us can.

can u dun drag ur personal problems and use it on me.

so wad if you stressed cause u nid to pay the bill.

so whad if ur stressed up bout ur illness.

so whad if ur unhappy bout ur family problems and everything

u aint supposed to bring it into our reulationshp and make it affect us in the first place.

so unreasonable luh.

i agree that last time i used to say.

oh, forget it luh, lets jus break.

but this time.

ur over board.

over the extent,

first was our 1st anniversary, u jus go out wif ur friend.

2nd month nvr even celebrate cause i go HK

3rd was u and i quarrel till si bei jia lat for dunno wad fk aso can.

wad next sia.

i give u so many chances alr lo.

u think i not hurt untill fucking sad ar.

u think that u yell at ppl very nice meh.

sometimes ar.

ur mother talk to u nicely u aso wad to shout at her.

show some respect can.

ppl talk to , u always give that annoying tone.

as if u HATE REPLYING THEM.

in fact, if u dun like it.

then IGNORE PLEASE!!!

cause i if u give me that annoying tone,

ill be like

"WTF IS YOUR PROBLEMS LUH."

then blah blah blah.

the fight begins again,

all my ex boyfriends dun even give that annoying tone can.

so WRONG LUH,

no MANNERS.

so disrespectful.

if u love ur mum. dun do that to her seriously.

she deserves mORE.

jus like me.

I AINT UR SPONGE ANYMORE.

i wont take in nymore,

ur problems are ur own.

dun tell me anymore cause i dun wanna be part of IT.

i dUN WANN IT TO RUIN US,

UNDERSTAND,

if you think u suck.

DO smth bout it.

tellin me u feel like shit doesnt make any difference cause you havent even STARTED on ANYTHING.

i tried my best alr.

i said sorrry, i did.

i actually did.

i SAID IT.

I SAID SORRY.

underline that.

i said SORRRY.

i KNEW IT WAS MY FAULT.

but please. think abt urself?

dun always angry. then ur mind doesnt think straight.

in the end. aft u read this.

i think all u'll say is.

" oh ar, i uselesss bf, i not gd enuff for u, lets break "

" i aint the right guy for you, i always try to make you happy but make u sad instead" (beginning of a fight)

" you angry wif me is it? wads the FUCKING PROBLEM NOW" (leading to a fight)

" i leave you alone ba, ltr i ruin your day.." ( a start of an unhappy Reign )

" Sorry, sigh nvm." ( feeling Hopeless)

" its my fault luh, ok? everything is my fault " ( ASO, a beginning of a fight )(Reign is feeling hopeless,uselesss & feels pissed off at pearl)

" WA LAU LEY, u everytime like this ley, dunno wads ur fucking problem luh"

(100% PISSED OFF at me)(IN THE MIDDLE OF A FIGHT)

dun tell me this can?

firstly,

your not a useless boyfriend, i love you. the way you are.

and if i still am with you. means ur the right guy for me.

and i wan it that way,

if your gna think that u aint right guy n stuff,

its your own thinking. NOT MINE.

u the girlfriend or i the girlfriend.

-___-"

and if u wanna ask.

WHATS UR FUCKING PROBLEM LUH.

ask yourself be4 SAYING THAT.

ask urself.

wad u said.

wad u did,

to make me IGNORE YOU.

to make me PISSED OFF.

nothing else.

sometimes i am unreasonable too.

but please. sometimes u realli nid to think b4 u say anything b4 i actually get pissed off by wad you say.

and.

if i say.

up to u wen u ask me a qns.

means anything,

if u flare up and aint happy cause i said up to you.

den GG

LOL.

GC.

GONE CASE.

you good game.

LOL.

lmao.

if you love me that much.

why walk away lol..

walk away = goodbye.

BYE BYE

BYE BYE.

aso GOOD GAME. LOL.

ill ask u these questions.

b4 u even think bout taking me back.

1. are u serious bout me?

2. wad you gna do to stop us from fighting(nth right?)

3. you have said sorry many times, but do u realli mean it?

cause sorry is useless now.

4. can instead of telling me, "WHATS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM", say, NICELY..

" baby, your ahem.. abit over board now, could u relax abit. we can settle this nicely" ?????????????????

5. cld u please think twice b4 saying anything. WITHOUT THAT ANNOYING TONE, as if u find me irritating!?

6. if you are serious. this is the main qns.

WHY LOVE A LOVE THAT HURTS ?

lol good game.

2008-01-22T19:53:00.000+08:00

for the many guys ive dated.

u were the best.

the one who took over the no. 1 spot as

"BEST BOYFRIEND ever"

ive made many sacrifices.

and if u aint glad bout it.

or ur still depressed over such.

or u even sweared to me .

sorry, but i don accept such people.

u jus fell to the NO 1 rank.

for bein

" THE WORST BOYFRIEND EVER "

if i keep insisting on it.

this shld be the final blow.

i threw the ring into the dustbin.

its all urs now.

i aint gna wear it back anymore.

i aint gna tell ppl how much i love u anymore,

i aint gna cry and say that im so sad cause i quarreled wif u anymore.

i aint gna say that i dun have much money anymore cause ive jus lOST U AS A BURDEN.

u noe wad.

ur depression cause of me.

it would have been better for u to leave me.

cause i know it so .

i did the right thing.

i won regret it anymore.

lol 3 mnth anniversary,

total screw up,

its okae.

cause this aint the 1st time.

it will be the last one tho.

ill be happy for u.

thanks.

now,

im gna throw away all the wishes i had for u.

& Just Walk Away...

uhmm.

2008-01-21T10:16:00.000+08:00

alright. everything has been okae for these few days. but jus a little few misunderstandings.

but i guess everything is alright now.

:( sadness is wad lies in our hearts.

ytd we went to bugis.

actually we wanted to call yw jh and eugene out.

but apparently their all bz with stuff.

sadness

we met SS and wanling and chuan.

chuan had a wedding dinner. so he couldnt stay for long.

SS and wanling took like ages to come oer to bugis LOL.

but the time they came. me and baby had alr gotten a jackpot toy from BIg Sweet Land.

hoho. we striked jackpot! :)

we gt loads of sweets and stuff.

then we played silent hill.

i obviously died first. cause my aiming sucks.

but baby played almost close to the ending. omgluh

his hand suan alr :X

who ask you wan play silent hill. tsk.

aft that we accompanied wanling to eat MOS burger

-___- im fucking blur luh,.

i keep forgetting to bring SS's present,

obviously she wasnt happy bout it. cause of her expressions.

but i realli forgot -___-"

you gt to sms me to remind me to bring it. seriously.

if nt id totally forget.

nyway. i wanted to go to topshop to check out the CNY sales.

ahhh 50% off okaae! totally hott.

i bought this top. which i totally LOVED.

and looks realli sexy on me :X hoho.

and aft that. we walked over to thisfashion

which ss and wanling spents HOURS in..

LOL. poor baby had to sit outside and wait.

but i accompanied him abit :)

he was like eating away all the sweets and snakcs we gt from BIGsweet LAND

LOLL so cute :X i love u loaads hoho.

and i was looking at my makeup stuff i bought from MISSHA.

and it was reali good. esp the eyeliner.

anyway. i found a dress. which i looked REALI GOOD IN.

suprisingly..

baby tot i loveeed how i look. LOL.

sweeet luh.

aft ALL that thisfashion stuff.

we went to look at shoes.

hoo. i bought black highheels. looks real nice ;D sweet.

21 bucks onli. uhmm we stilll had to look for wanling's sandles.

so yeaaah.

ss was hungree so we went to eat roti prattaaa≥

AAHH. I WAN CHEESE AND MUSHROOM PRATAA ;(

sigh.

didnt eat cause i was saving the space for nasi lemak.

but anyway... we went to lan aft that

i tried bone fletcher. zzzz asss luh,

so difficult.

but aft u get MKB its like so easy to pwned them :X

aft thaaaaat. did nth and had to like go home for NASILEMAK!!

i managed to get the food for my maids. so yeah.

they better be thnkful.

mainly it was for grace onli. LOL :X

LOL. I WAS pissed off wif baby over smth.

so he wanted to be forgiven right?

yayy. he let me pluck his armpit hair. LOL. AHHAHAHAHAHAA.

ONE STRAIN THO.

i nvr even touch him yet LOL HE SO SCARED LUH.

so in the end i didnt get to pluck it. LOL. AHHAHAHA.

ARMPIT HAIR ROFL.

BUT WEN we were gna slp. HOHOHOHOHOH.MWAHAHHAA.

I PLUCKED A BUNCH. LOOOL. AHHAHAHAHAH

HE GT TRICKED ;X

LOOL LOSER.

ahhaha im ur CRAZY GIRLFRIEND. ;D

LOL. i love u ;D

GOING 3 MNTHS LEE. AHHAHA. like this wednesday!!

SENTOSA OUTING!! hahahha.

well i hope ss they all can make it :|

uhmm.. sigh.. alright.

i gtg do some stuff. byee ;)

BABY I LOVE YOU.

AS MCH AS I LOVE..

YOUR ARMPIT HAIR!!

LOOL. AHHAHAHAHAH :X

sigh

2008-01-16T14:40:00.000+08:00

i realli donnt wanna have a _____.
this cant b e happening to me.
me and reign are like in depression mode now.
i swear i dun wan it.
horrible.
STRESSING OUT .
being afraid everyday.
ive to wait 1 more mnth for results.
if it realli does happen.
im gna jump down.
i wont take it.
sigh
i duno wads going on.
i dun wanna be with him wen its over.
it will jus cause more and more trouble for the both of us.
and i noe it'd be different already.

i gotta let him go.
and im prepared for it.

uhmm

2008-01-07T02:12:00.000+08:00

sigh. im going to school in hours.
and i cant slp.
i jus cant turn into bed.
i cant shut my eyes
cause i jus cant stop thinking bout tmr and baby.
oh i miss you so much.
we bought rings. but is it abit too early?
are we going too fast?
i jus hanged up on the phone with ian.
and everythings messed up with him too.
bev seems to be givin him false hopes.
sigh, ignore her!!!
ur brothers.
i mean some may betray you yeah,.
but whatever. heck care them.
ian ur a good guy.
keith doesnt deserve to be ur friend!
wad a bastard ><
uhmm. i guess sometimes. its best to jus stick to urself.
anyone could turn ur back on you.
..
uhmm except reign of course.
maybe.
if he does.
he'll regret hell!!!
slap u :((
i go slp le. ill try.
LOVE U BABY. many many.

er

2008-01-05T15:09:00.000+08:00

ive gt totally nth to say. actually.
i mean. dun expect much from me jus cause im rich.
jus cause ive gt so much money from some dum allowance i get everyday.
dun lean on me cause ive gt many ppl to support already.
i aint dum pls.
if u cant grab it, give up pls.
_______ , FUCK YOU
baby i noe u wan me to stop.
alright. ill stop.
i wonder wad would have happened if i didnt do anything to help.
ha ha ha dum.
funny people these days. seriously.
2008 sounds as if its gna suck real bad.
so i suppose so.
apparently new year was good but the worst too.
1/1/08 - my grandma's bidae, she nearly had a car accident cause of some stupid
fucking dum driver. YOUNG AND BLIND! DUN FUCKING SQUEEZE INTO SUCH A SMALL AREA RIGHT. WA LAU. zzzzzzzzzz wad a great way to start the year.

2/1/08 - baby bidae. steamboat. fun? it was the best foood tasting steamboat i had for so long.
yw and they all were playing the drums. like the real thing. yw was super good at it. i totally suck at it.
baby and me crossed our hearts, we wont split no matter wad. & now we're gna save money to paint his rm & get new furniture.sweet.

4/1/08 - we wanted to watch body 19. we cldnt catch it. NC16 dum fuckers checked my IC. zzz
anyway b4 that. it gt so messed up i swear. baby and me were like playing seal. and rain tot i ddidnt see them =_= wen chuan said hi to us and we said hi wen we came in too.
i dunno wads wrong now.
........... SIGH. I READ UR BLOG AND I UNDERSTAND
5/1/08 - gna meet yw & kenneth , EAT BOTAK JOANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! baby and me gna get our rings today too. super duper nice. SWEET STUFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.

I DUN GET IT SERIOUSLY?????????!!!!!11
FUCKING SCHOOL.
FUCKING MORONIC 2008.

i hate you ian LOL.
FK AWAY AND HAV FUN WIF UR MAGGIE MEE LUH.
get over beverly luh geek.
end of this year then i club wif u luh. now still 15 LOL.
STUPID DUM FK.

I HA TE MAGGIE LEE.
I HOPE U DIE AND BURN IN HELL.
FUCK UR BALLS NO WONDER UR HUSBAND DIVORCED YOU.
LOSER.
*SCREEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM*
WTF IS WRONG WIF PPL THESE FEW DAYS.

uhmm

2007-12-21T10:05:00.000+08:00

havent blogged for long yeah..
well i dun realli have the time now.
jus lazy.
days been nth but boring.
any now, in hours im going to hong kong.
so ill blogg wen im back yeah.
sigh.
baby ill miss you loads.
happy 2 mnths. :)
we'll come bck and buy the rings using the money we saved yeah.

man i dun wanna go.
but i have to.
><
yz .
u didnt choose a date to go out in the end.
im left wif so little days till sch starts again.
i dun wanna go.

ill be missing everyone!
ill be missing,
chuan & ss,
tong (even if i havent seen her for so long, please send her my regards)
baby ( HELL LOTS )
yz!!!( havent seen u for long too )

chuan & ss : thnks for ytd. it was good to see u guys again ;D take care
Wanling : work hard!! gogogogo, hope to see u again, esp in the same class in 2008!
baby : baby, wait for me? happy anniversary! ;D take good care of urself okae.i love u.
ian : GO FOR BEVERly! since u love her, dun hold back before its too late.
clarissa : dun hate bev =_="" i know shes gey,(but not as gey as me) but dun mess it up too much.
BEV : DUN GET URSELF DRUNK NEXT TIME! OMG. =_=" slap u. take care luh. kick kelvin ass!! u dun deserve such friends

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABY I LOVE YOU.
MANY MANY!!!
LOVE YOU MANY MANY!
be back on christmas eve.
im santa soon.

BYE BYEEEEEEEEEE. take care all.

uhmm

2007-12-10T01:31:00.000+08:00

i havent blogged for long yeah.
alot of things happened recently.
regarding my father.
Reign and his friends and etc.
been doing nth but.
lan,dota,audi,sleep,eat, watch the drama series heroes.
apparently. its a good series.
super interesting and coool!!
;D sad nathan is gna be hurt real bad =/
but it was sweet he helped peter..
even tho he was running for elections.
me and reign.
we finished the whole series.
it was kinda random cause we were out to buy donuts at
central and vivo and then i was like.
why not we go buy Heroes.
since reign wanted to watch it real bad last time.
uhm i had jus enuff money to buy it ;D
hahaha we bought DOZENS of donuts
it was real good i swear!!!
real pigs ~_~
anywaaaaay.
we watched it, enjoyed it.
and slept like pigs.
aft days.
i decided to bring reign to my hse.
to sleepover.
-__-
i didnt realli bother bout my dad so i kinda brought him into my room to
slp over the night.
knowing my dad.
aft banning chuan and rain they all from comin over...
he obbviously made a HUGE FUSS OVER IT.
and it was real bad.
like...
zz he made me kneeel down and say sry. or beg for forgiveness.
i jus cried there.
.
super long ago alr..
now.
he doesnt allow me to like touch the com.
and like he cut my sim card so i cant use the hp.
that explains why the change of hp no.
and why i havent been blogging much..
apparently im GROUNDED.
-__-"
but now.
i told my mum and mum believes me.
so she talked to my dad and allowed me to like
touch my com.
apparently.
home isnt my home anymore.
i live with Reign.
-__-"
weird right.
i havent been home for uhmm.
mayybe close to 2 mnths alr.
yup yup.
been doing nth but slacking so much..
sigh.
we met up wif that kenneth and the other guy.
reign's good friends.
the other day to eat like queensway western food.
good stuff ;D
it was funny and they made me laugh alot
cause they were like talking bout banglah stuff. LOL..
ahahah at least they did try to talk to me ;)
which was good.
cause i couldnt speak chinese yeah..
we headed to pennisula plaza.
they looked at their skates.
and we saw PUMA shoes!
for shuffling!
ahhaha. baby realli wanted it tho.
:
but i couldnt find mine then.
they onli had adidas which wasnt realli wad i wanted.
>< i still had to buy my hoodie..
the one i saw at adidas was like 172 bucks.
>< expensive huh..
well.... worth it for sunday.
we did much and went ard doing nth.
went to cityhall.
and it was almost 10pm
.
gna catch 30 days of night with wanling .
apparently her friend helped us sneak in cause he worked there.
ahha its M18 and im onli 15 :X
anyway we did it.
and it was a nice show.
i jerked up qutie alot and freaked baby cause there were some scary scenes.
-___-" ahaha gore and more gore.
i like these kind of movies.
their fun. hahaha.
better than fantasy! @_@
aft that day.
i didnt realli see rain and wanling much.
i didnt know why.
quite sad.
kinda miss them loads.. sigh.
wish we were how we used to be..

its been depressing.
it keeps raining and raining and raining EVERYDAY.
every min
every hour..
arg..
somethings jus aint right.
seriously.
my kor right.
rmb harry.
the gay one.
that gay guy.
HES GAY RIGHT.
and now.
he tells me.
he misses me.
he tells me im the first girl he has ever missed.
im his mei mei.
._.
omg
sigh i feel sad for him..
nevermind.
saturday.
we were at ps.
met up wif eugene & hogan.
hahaa. it was fun and funy i guess.
cause eugene was as guai lan as ever.
but i didnt realli mind
even tho i did say i disliked him abit cause
he seemed as if he didnt realli like me either.
but yeah. i guess it was funny afterall :)
kenneth , jiahao and YW joined us aft that at marina.
we were looking at watches
and watches
and watches
-__-"
is that all eugene is interested about.
lool.. it was kinda awkward for reign cause
he was "pissed" off with JIAhao.
nevermind.
he emoed abit and it was basically my fault cause.
he was always WITH me.
never with his frends.
he couldnt even get a chance to enjoy talking to them..
>< its all my fault.
i told him.
go join them.
hes like.
i cant, ill ditch u aside. :(
i feel real bad.
sometimes i feel neglected
& now i wan him to join them.
am i asking too much from him?
><
baby i love you.
13 more days yeah..
i hope u realli dun forget.. seriously :
even if its close to christmas.
and even if im leaving for hK on the 19th.
><
i know you'll miss me wen i aint ard.
cause i practically...
LIVE WITH YOU alr..

i won ask too much from u..
u obviously wont get to read this.
cause u dun read my blog anymore.

nevermind. at least i said everything i had to.

sunday:
8.am.
i was having fever .
& me&reign onli slept for 5 hrs
.__.
why does SDF have to make the meetups super early!?
oh my god.
we were so tired.
i was like super laazy to shower
and get ready..
he managed to get me out of bed.
we were late even aft we toook a cab down to PS.
they were at mac.
so we met them.
at first i was llike nervous cause i didnt reallli know them.
but it was okay i guess.
Reign ate big breakfast and i had jus a hashbrown and milo.
uhmm.
aft that Kel(skinny one) went to pick his cousin fromt he MRT.
and we went up to the 7th floor to shuffle.
where the exits of the cinema is..
peaceful.quiet.cold.nice.
good place to shuffle.
then we jus assembled the "BOMB"
ahahha. which is the speakers of course.
blasted it.
danced.
they did.
i watched.
:)
seemed fine.
Reign gogoogo!!! ganbatte!
aft that we decided to change venue to shuffle.
SMU.
they jus shuffled and shuffled.
i was a guardman.
:X lookin out of security. heh
the funny thing was.
me and baby were wearing
like.
COUPLE STUFF
i was wearing a plain pink shirt,black jeans, pink puma.
Reign baby was wearing a plain green shirt,black jeans,green sneakers.
ahahhaha. they were laughign at us :S
><
kel(plum one) kinda gt hurt :
like super suay.
his cut was super deeep!! omggg.
bleeding >< eeek.
we went to sunshine plaza to eat wanton mee.
yaay, good food.
i was super hungree
Kel and his cousin ( the skinny one) left.
they had to go or smth. didnt noe.
we headed down to parklane to Gaming GIants.
ahahhaha so fun!!!
played CS at first and owned the bots.
LOL
like the last round right.
everyone died EXCEPT ME.
and baby jus made me camp at the place where the hostages were
and KILLED EVERY BOT!!
HAHAHAH amazing !!!
ahahah. super funnyyyyyyy AND CRAZZZY!!
aft that they played dota. i played audi for awhile.
then i joined them.
i used zues.
HAHAHA SUPER FUN.
i was like soloing mid and we did alot of ganged up shit.
i KSED KEL :X OOPS.
hahhahaha. killed till MEGA KILL.
ahhaha Bnet PPL are so ghey.
they kept leaving and Remaking.
retards.
ahahha the last game was sooo funnnnnnnnn..
but sadly.
my fever gt worssssseeeee.
and it was raining again.
so they had to go.
and me and baby went home to rest.
cause i was sick..
:(
slept at 5pm.
took panadol b4 that.
went to slp
till 8pm
><
and then we headed down to jurong west.
it was raining like hell again.
and we gt caught in the rain..
no ba ku teh to eat ;(
we missed haunted mansion(the movie)
>< ended up eating MAC.
everything was jus so screwed..
baby was so tired.
and he jus started emo-ing.
so did i...

sigh.
tried his mum's chicken feet.
and it was SOOO GOOODD ><
yummy..
did nth & baby fell sick.
sigh.
better rest.
now its ur turn.
take care.
cause i cant be wif u 2nite.
mum asked me to slp at home.
i miss u.
& u jus msned me cause u missed me 2..
sleeep tight.
love u 4ever

1st dec saturday.

2007-12-02T06:02:00.000+08:00

did nth much. i was slacking at reign's hse
cause i slept thr.... supposed to slp at hm.
but turned out didnt.
anyway. we did have mac for lunch. goodie
cause there was that promo thing. THE SHAKER FRIES ! ;D
it was kinda fast. MIRACLE. instead of 1hr 30 mins
it was liek 30 mins. LOL. anyway. we ate alot.
i had my nuggets and apple pie + fries
while reign had his CHEESE BURGER AGAIN.
and etc etc.
=__= aft that we cooled off and cleaned the windows ;D
spring cleaning.
aft that we started shuffling!
hehe i managed to speed up alot now.
cause i finally gt it. :)
but aint so good.
at least i learned real fast!!! ;D good for a starter.
aft sometime.
kenneth wanted to meet reign for dinner.
assuming he was VERY HUNGREE.
i cldnt go cause i had dinner wif grandma(dad's side)
at regent hotel.
boring yeah =/
well gd thing i ddidnt follow reign anyway.
cause i knew it'd be awkward.
since i dun know kenneth much.
and we dun talk. so yeah . no use.
reign noes my friends.
but i dun noe his =_=
wad a gap.. sigh.
jus cause i cant speak chinese.
sometimes i feel as if i belong to singapore.
seriously, i wanna migrate over to australia or smth.
at least its better over there.
most of my friends are there too..
=/ guess that'd happen when im 19?
uhmmmmmm.
i had dinner wif grandma right
turned out.
ALEX and that gossipy aunt was there.
i forgot her name :X too many uncles and aunties.
ahah. they couldnt recognize me cause ive changed alot (appearance)
and they were like.
omg. pearl, your so pretti.
ahahaha :X ive gt wings now. ;D ><
it was funny tho.
cause uncle was talking bout cars
and how my brother would own one :X
& probably wished my dad gt his liscense confiscated so he
could get his car. LOL
ghey stuff.
i didnt bring my hp.
so i wasnt able to contact SS
was gna meet her out to at least catch a movie and lan or smth.
i didnt have much time and i came home super late.
like 10?
got out of the hse at 10+ and there was this JAM AT TOWN.
wth man,. its like 10+ and theres still jam.
=_+
dum ppl. ...
finally i reached PS and met rain up
they were like eating away .
=__= so hungree. LOL
>.> we headed down to check the movie timings.
couldnt get into 30 days of night cause they;d say they'd check IC.
SUPER SAAAAAAAAAD ;(
instead we planned to catch HERO.
zz...
went to lan. played audi and they played dota till like 1.30.
i was chatting wif my long lost friendd.
KENNY. cass's ex bf.
found out that cass 2 timed kenny.
SHE WAS LIKE SUCH A BITCH LUH
i totally tot she was innocent and all that.
turned out CRAP..
sigh. poor kenny.
he still likes her abit i guess.
sad case. wasted 3 years of his life.
wen i can use that 3 years and HAVE FUNNNNNN!!
:S
baby was tired.
so he turned in early.
poor baby.
his eye is swollen.
hope u get better k?
=/

we rushed back to PS to buy HERO tickets.
the 2.20am one.
OMFGG..........
THE SHOW WAS SO BORING I SWEAR.
IT WAS SO DRAGGY
wen the story is onli bout this guy who
kicked and push this guy in his dick and he collapsed and hit a concrete pavement.
=_= so he died right.
then the "MURDERER" drove off in a van.
and he has this alibi saying that he was at work ..
but it gt destroyed by the lawyer..
so yeah.. sigh so boring i swear.
half way i dozed off and slept. LOL
then i woke up and watched again.
I SWEAR THE MOVIE IS SO BORING
AND IT LASTED FROM LIKE 2.20 - 4.45AM.
SUPERRRRRRR LONG.
i STRONGLY DISAGREE TO WATCHING IT.
!!!
RAAAAAAH. yz ur so lucky u didnt watch it =_=
argggg.
i kinda miss reign tho.
reign smsed me.
said he had a bad dream again bout me leavin him..
baby i wont leave u okae.
in e past i use to quarrel wif u alot cause u werent ard me.
but... now to think of it.
im gna let u have ur freedom.
cause i wanna last..
soooo. we'll last ok? :)
sexy beast , i love you :3

gdnite. tired.
tmr shopping wif reign!!! and mum and dad =_=

wednesday

2007-11-29T15:40:00.000+08:00

uhm. nothing happened much.
though. i was late for dinner and reign's mum
cooked chilli crabs for us.
it was like the first time i ate crab. LOL.
like that =_=
real messy and bad.
it was good tho.
ahaha reign's mum's cooking
is SOO YUMMY!!
aft that we went to parklane to find rain chuan.
to lan. as usual.
apparently evo had no space so we moved on the GG
gaming giants.
they were playing dota against jeff and FF.
sooooo yeah. me and reign did nth bt O2JAM,CS.
;D i pawned his ass at the beginning
but obviously my luck didnt last for long =_="
hes such a moron i swear. LOL
guess wad.
suprisly that _____ came. so unwanted.
anyway didnt really bother cause i was havin fun
AS EXPECTED.
RAIN FORGOT MY CHOCOLATES =_=
SLAP U LAH!! SO LONG ALR!
MY 3 PACKS OF CHOCO STACK AT UR HSE SIA .__.
BISH!!!!!!!!!
LOL. >.>
anyway. baby was hungree. and i was too.
so he grabbed a cheese burger.
hehe i kinda "forced" rain to join us.
i ended up eating ice cream and fries!
hehhh.
baby then said he had like 3 MEALS OF MAC FOR THE DAY
OMG =_= 3 CHEESE BURGERS RIGHT
omg. ur so craxy over it.
instead of cookie monster
its cheese burger monster!! ahhhh!
Reign the CHEESE BURGER MONSTER ><
stop dominating our mac stands =_=
aft that we went to evo and played yeah
did played cs at first.
then played dota.
ahahahha it was kinda fun .
BUT IT WAS SO TRASHYYY.
CAUSE ITS LIKE WE SHUFFLED PLAYERS.
and like we WERE IN THE NUB GRP.
=_= LIKE WE ALL WERE SUPER NUBS
and all the pros were in the other one
wtf man.
AHHAHA. SUPER FUNNY CAUSE RAIN WAS LIKE
WA LAO. GT THE SNIPER !@#^%!@# obviously REFERRING to ______
ahahha. reign found it funny too. LOL.
ahahahhaahahha supper funnny.
we both ganged up to kiill chuan
his stupid ulti so pain luh ._. arg.
dam leeech.
baby, the furion obviously didnt try to kill me
cause im his beloved.
and if he does. im gna kick his ass. LOL
=__= so yeah.
but there was one part where he TRAPPED US WITH THAT STUPID FURION
TREEES. RETARDED SHIT LUH
me and rain couldnt escape from wanling(Night stalker)
so she obviously killed me.zzzzzzz whatever.
SO MEAN LUH I DIDNT EVEN ATT U !
RAWWRR.
SO NOT FAIR.
ahaa but it was funny.LOL.
we obviously lost.
and aft that it was 3am.
baby was tired. sooooooo we headed home earli =/
we like kinda argued be4 we went to bed.
=_= he said i didnt care.
zzzzzz care? i didnt care?
omgosh.
ur saying smth u shldnt say.
seriously.
if i didnt care. i wouldnt even bother if it was our anniversary please.
i wouldnt bother going home with you jus cause your tired.
i wouldnt have not stayed with you for WEEKS instead of going home.(4weeks?)
i wouldnt have sent you to sch knowin that you;d be late.
i didnt stop you from shuffling either, cause i noe u love and enjoy it.
i nvr said anything out cause i noe it'd be the worst for us.
we use to place coins in the can.
now i see no purpose in that.
cause we jus take out the money from it and use it on our own please.
seriously,
dun get a ring if you aint sincere.
spare a tot for me b4 you do things? please?

..

2007-11-28T16:41:00.000+08:00

man. ive ggt a bad feeling bout this.
bad feeling bout ltr =/
i think we're gna quarrel again for dunno wad reason
>< arg.
sigh. bad feeling!
ive gt a bad premonition!!!
aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh
someone tell me everythings gna be fine
i hope hes okae.
cause he hasnt replied any ofmy messages!! and its raining heavily!! ><
god, PLEASE MAKE SURE HES FINE!!!

uhmm

2007-11-28T11:45:00.000+08:00

ytd. it was a tues.
IT WAS SUPER FUN LIKE HELL.
i went out with rainnnnnnn.
HHAHAHA. random stuff.
i went back home from reign's hse.
hehe and rain came over to my hse to do the hair
actually i kinda wanted to curl my hair.
but in the end.
naahh. forget it.
i straightened her hair instead
at least she was happy bout it.
;D
we TOOK like super long to prepare.
haha.
till like 5pm
we decided to watch the bee movie
since she hsnt watched it yet
and i did promise her back then to watch it wif her.
i didnt realli mind cause it was super funny
and i felt i watching it again!
hahahaha. :X
so yeah we bought tickets for the 9.50pm show.
uhmm anyway we had dinner at the kopi
and we FELT LIKE EATING jap food.
so i had ramen
and she had this bento set. super nice.
;D eat talk eat talk
we also bought ALOT OF chocolates from candy empire.
( i forgot to bring it back , its wif her )
DUN EAT ALL OF IT! OMG
its for me and my maid :(
aft that we kinda watched to nokia.
and we overheard the seller saying theres fire works 2nite
WE WERE LIKE
OMG!?
lets go see!!
hahaha. so i randomly decided to go to sentosa since there was fireworks there
turned out its a EVERYDAY EVENT THING.
cause theres this musical called songs of the sea.
3dollars for entrance fee and 6dollars per psn for the ticket.
IT WAS SO NICE OK
at first i was like.
err... ok looks lame.
BUT IT TURNED OUT SO GOOD.
cause there were like flame throwers.
and they used water projection
and the fireworks jjus came out of no wheree!!!!
IT WAS SO COOL AND NICE
super fun i say!!
aft that we didnt wanna walk any further
so we wentt back to vivo.
I SWEAR I WANNA WORK AT SENTOSA!
the guys there are super cute :X
hhhhahha.
rain said she'll check it out and maybe we can work there tgtr. ! :X
it was 9.50
jus nICE
we watched bee movie!
ahahhaha i was eating all the nachos away
supeer hungree.
anyway. IT WAS SUPER FUNNY
AHHHHHAHAHAHAHAA
glad rain enjoyed ;D
right!!!?!?!!
2 GREAT SHOWS AT ONCE!!
WOOOOO! SUPER HAPPENING.
nxt tyme we bring everyone along ;D
WEEEEEEEE.
RAIN DUN EAT MY CHOCOS I SWEAR -__-"

uhmm

2007-11-27T18:01:00.000+08:00

wad is more impt?
choose now or nvr.
Me or Shuffle.
i bet a million is shuffling
!

tweet tweet

2007-11-27T13:47:00.000+08:00

let me get this straight into someone's head.

apparently.

some ppl have gone against the idea .

OR EVEN DUNNO WTF their thinking. or

ASSUMING wad kind of person i am.

cause they dont know me well.

is that.

THEY SAY i use MONEY TO BUY FRIENDS?

HELLO.

only a r tard & a jealous freak WOULD even bother

commenting on me.

i bet he/she has nth to do on the whole planet.

SO.

GET A LIFE.

ahhahaa. i bet u nid a ticket.

:) HERE IS ONE.

LOL. AHAHAHAHHA. THAT ZY. HES SO CUTE RITE.

anyway I HAVE CONCLUDED THAT.

THE persoN WHO MUST HAVE SPEAKED OF ME.

CAUSE HE/SHE PROBABLY MISSES ME.

is that.

someone who READS MY BLOG.

NOES BOUT REIGN & OBVIOUSLY THINK HE DOESNT ACC ME.

AND NOES THAT YZ ISNT ARD & SHES ON HOLIDAY.

wad a joke.

so ive gone down to deduction.

and im gna search anyone's IP address.

hehe. mess with me and you'd get it straight.

dont worry cause id make sure ur life would be a nightmare.

THINK IM GNA USE MONEY TO MAKE FRIENDS?

U SEE LUH! MY FRIENDS MORE HAPPY OR U.

MY FRIENDS HAPPY I HAPPY CAN ALR.

MFFMFMMFMFFMMFMF

MOTHER FUCKER MOTHER FUCKER MOTHER FUCKER MOTHER FUCKER

I BET UR ASS'S HOLE IS SO BIG THAT WEN U SHIT IT JUS COMES OUT AS WATER AND MINERALS.

ESP WEN IT CANT BE DIGESTED CAUSE UVE GT NOT DIGESTING JUICES.

SO IT COMES OUT AS LUMPS OF FOOD.

YUCK U DISGUSTING FRREAK.

SMELL MY ARMPIT HAIR LUH.

haha. once again.

you must mock me cause im hotter than u.

MISSS ME I BET. :)

DIE YOU MOTHER FUCKER. ROFLLMAOWTFZ.

...

2007-11-25T15:16:00.000+08:00

i cant use love to restrict you..
but i really really miss you..

uhmm abt REIGN?

2007-11-25T05:17:00.000+08:00

well. yes its true we're tgtr.
and i know i love him very much.
but aparently.
wen i was back.. things jus started screwing up
so badly.
we gt into much fights.
messed up everything and even broke up .
i dont know why.
but maybe i was thinking too much?
it wasnt jus that u know..
i mean it was a very special day on friday.
it meant a whole world to me..it really did.
but.. we sat back, did nth.
he jus stucked on to his computer.
and i was jus lying on bed.
doing practically,
NOTHING.
obviously anyone would hav been sad.
so i was super unhappy.
and i kinda cancelled the date off.
without much thinking of wad he had done.
he jus called kenneth out.
its our anniversary.
it aint your friendship day.
i mean, if u realli wanna meet ur friend
please do it like the next day?
not on our anniversary.
i asked him.
"do u intend to ditch me off and go find him instead?"
he nvr did replied.
not as i expected.
but he said he cldnt leave kenneth alone.
jus cause he pang seh-ed him the other tym alr.
hello.. its our anniversary.
are you trying to question me?
are u trying to state the fact down that ur friends is more impt than me?
i was fucking pissed and sad.
i jus started crying,packed my stuff, took everything i had left there, and went.
b4 he even had done up his shoe laces.
i took the elevator down.
where my driver was waiting for me.
i jus couldnt stop crying .
i cried at his hse.
i cried in the car.
i cried at home.
i cried whenever i was alone.
or when i tot of him.

aft that day.
i jus aint myself anymore.
i do love him still.
but i dun feel lik lovin him anymore.
cause he aint the reign i know at all.
i mean.
since both of us wan things to cool down.
i guess i shld jus let u go.
if ur friends are more impt.
let it be.
i'd jus change my mindset & make my friends more impt too.
in fact. givin in 100% was nvr a good idea.
or maybe its me?
maybe i don know how to giv u tym and space alone.
not with me ard.
since i practically.
"stay with u alr"
i wouldnt have minded..
but. why.
does it have to be our anniversary u have to ruin.
how disappointing.
im utterly disappointed.
to think that u were gna be everything.
and everything wld be fine wen im back from genting.

it jus makes me.
HATE YOU.
HATE YOU EVEN MORE.
hate you when i love you.

since im nth like ur friends.
beat it.
i cant speak chinese.
i cant mix with them much.
i cant joke as much as they do.
i cant make u laugh and smile they way they do 2 u.
i cant leave any trace of presence in ur heart.

in fact.
its all my fault?
guess im dum.
and i don know how to leave u alone.

now..
i dont even feel like savin up to buy a ring for us.
take the money.
leave with it and buy ur shuffling hoodie.
maybe thats a better option.
cause, apparently my heart jus got taken back.
and it aint something that can be bought by u anymore.
something that shldnt be owned by u.
since uve taken it for granted.
ruined & torned it into pieces.

u said u wanted the whole world to know that i belonged to you.
you said u wanted to intro ur friends to be so that we could hang out tgtr.
what happened now?
is this wad u call love?
i did try going out with u guys.
but it didnt work.
it jus aint working out the way i wan it.
am i so different?

ill pick up a hobbie too.
ill pick up something id enjoy without you ard.
something to distract me dearly from everything.
especially YOU.
so tht.
wen ur not with me.
id nvr initiate a break up.
or think too much.

the thing is.
we're still tgtr.
and u say u love me.
but.. how do u love me this way if you nvr helped out too.
it takes 2 hands to clap.
not ONE.
think abt it please?
if u tell me your gna solve it with me.
do something?

is this wad i really deserve for being ur "best gf ever"?
i nvr grew up to deserve such disappointment & grief.

tmwr is gna be a new day.
& ive said everything i wanted to.
hope tmr is a new start.
with or without you .

reign,
i did love you. i still love you. i will love you.
ytd, today, & tmwr. for eternity.

if u do love me more than i do.
at least try to help?

GENTING TRIP.

2007-11-24T02:45:00.001+08:00

APARENTLY.
I DIDNT BLOG FOR QUITE LONG YEAH.
reason why was because i was at genting.
for 4 days .
it was suppose to be for like 3 days.
bt due to bad weather.
we werent able to play much of the rides in the theme park.
so they extended it.
i was kinda sad at first.
cause i missed reign alot.
but yeah.
i nvr regretted agreeing to extending it.
cause i had soo MUCH FUN.
helloooo.
it was like.
WTF MAN.
i was actually daring enuff to sit that 12+++ level ride.
it was likeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
MADNESS.
me and rain.
we went up right
we were like shivering like maaad.
cause it was SCARRRY AND we couldnt face the fact that we were actually up in the air.
but chuan was like
" NO TURNING BACK NOW ! "
ahhh =_=
okay we went all the way up right.
and i counted to 10.
wtf. aft that
we DROPPED.
dropped and i couldnt feel myself sitting down at all.
we were like floating
and dropping down like fuck
it was so darn scary.
well. it was worth the try cause
that was the best ride in the whole of the theme park.
there was this other one we had so much fun on.
its the CORKSCREW!
at first. it was like. WTF man.
craaaaaazy sheet ass.
but aft while of sitting on it.
it wasnt as fun as the first try. :)
anyway. good stuff yeah.
we did take quite come photos. i will upload it pretty soon.
marybrown -fast food outlet was good tooo. totally missed it.
everything there is so different compared to singapore.
esp KFC's mashpotatos and coslaw. that vege thing.
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD FOOOD. omg
im gna grow fatt ;(
apparently.
i kinda missed Singapore much.
but now since im back.
i miss e freedom over there.
and not having to worrry bout everything! esp reign..
-read next post to know why-

to reign.

2007-11-18T12:33:00.001+08:00

gonna miss u big time.
hope u do well for your exams :)
take care and have fun.
ganbatte!